Friday, April 25, 2014

NPR Sunday Puzzle (April 20, 2014): April Showers

Pink Tree, by Mark oh! (via Flickr)
NPR Sunday Puzzle (April 20, 2014): April Showers:
Q: Name certain trees. Also name something that trees have. Rearrange all the letters to get the brand name of a product one might buy at a grocery or drug store. What is it?
The puzzle went around and around in my head until I came up with an answer.

Edit: The hints were "around" and "came up" as in a drowning person "came up" for air and caught "a round" object.
A: FIRS + LEAVES --> LIFESAVERS

149 comments:

  1. Here's my standard reminder... don't post the answer or any hints that could lead directly to the answer (e.g. via a chain of thought, or an internet search) before the deadline of Thursday at 3pm ET. If you know the answer, click the link and submit it to NPR, but don't give it away here.

    You may provide indirect hints to the answer to show you know it, but make sure they don't give the answer away. You can openly discuss your hints and the answer after the Thursday deadline. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I may be barking up the wrong tree, but there is something called a Frisk Bar, but there is no Pekin Bar!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I heard the puzzle about 7:45 this morning. The answer just popped into my brain at around 9:30 while I was trimming my beard and moustache. I wasn’t even really thinking about the puzzle.

    Interestingly, my brain solved it backwards – picked a brand name so it only remained for me to see if it contained the tree information. It did. Sometimes you think your brain is taking a nap but it isn’t – it’s doing some pretty good work for you behind the scenes.

    I know of no way to research this puzzle – nothing to look up. I think you’re either going to get it or not. There’s no clue in these remarks – you needn’t look. I haven’t been able to think of one that wouldn’t be a dead giveaway. I’ll keep working on it.

    Chuck

    ReplyDelete
  4. Blaine's hint this week was particularly opaque!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Chuck,
    Actually, there are a couple of lists that lead to the answer fairly quickly.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I actually got it. Oh, back in the day!

    ReplyDelete
  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Chuck,

    So right you are about our brains snapping to attention and synapsing even while napping. Often when I stall while working a crossword puzzle, I put it aside for “a spell,” then come back and fill in more empty blanks than a kid with a #2 pencil working on his SATs. I’ve heard other puzzle solvers say similarly.

    I agree with you also that this puzzle resists research. But I agree with Lorenzo too about the possibility of getting an answer fairly quickly, because both a list of trees and a list of “things trees have” are relatively short.

    The brand-name list? Not so short! Edibles sold by drug stores + druggables sold by grocery stores = big-time brand product overlap. That is why I also agree with benmar12001 about the possibility this week of more than one answer.

    I’ve found only one answer, by sheer dumb luck, but I believe it qualifies. The very first “certain trees” and “something trees have” I tried anagrammed into a brand name.

    The following hint, I hope Blaine agrees, is sufficiently obscure: “coffee cup.”

    Legreeable O’Lambda

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Legolamb,
      Actually, I used the website of a well-known chain of drug stores, which conveniently contained an alphabetical listing of all the brands they carry. The wording of the puzzle allowed me to shorten the list of candidates considerably.

      Delete
  9. Will's instructions: "rearrange ALL the letters." My answers don't go that far.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I also have 2 answers that require no mixing.

      Delete
    2. I've got one of those, too, but I doubt it's correct.

      Delete
  10. Ah, I see someone discovered my palmolive hybrid tree seeds.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think that's the intended answer, since no rearranging is involved.

      Delete
    2. Hey, Ruth, welcome back!

      I saw those palmolive seeds next to the Oak Leaf wine (Wal-Mart's apparent answer to Two-buck Chuck from Trader Joe's).

      Delete
    3. And I agree with Jan with whom WW agreed. No rearranging involved, of the letters anyway. I've yet to try Oak Leaf wine, but I'm a very loyal Two Buck Chuck purchaser.

      Delete
    4. If trees incorporate sunlight as part of the photosynthesis process, could we consider Pine-Sol a legit answer?

      Delete
    5. I don't think Beech-Nut is going to cut it, either.

      Delete
  11. I've come up with 3 answers, 2 of which involve rearranging. So If you bark up the right (girth) trees, you will reach the same conclusions.

    ReplyDelete
  12. From a Google search:

    nettle tree (plant) -- Encyclopedia Britannica
    www.britannica.com/EBchecked/.../nettle-tree‎
    Encyclopaedia Britannica
    The eastern North American tree called hackberry, or nettle tree, is C. occidentalis.

    Hence, certain trees are NETTLE.

    Trees have a lot of COOL (I could simply say "trees are cool," but to say that they "have cool" is ...well...cooler.

    COTTONELLE ads make a point of the fact that their product is soft, and Will said this isn't hard

    I rest my case.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't think it was an essay question, Paul, but I'd say your assay works, especially in S.A.

      Delete
    2. And although I still don't know what the 'real' product is, I assume it's available on Amazon, if I'm willing to pay the fr8.

      Delete
    3. If you are looking for Parisian bugs on pets, there is a new product called "Le Flea Map."

      And trees definitely have cool.

      Delete
  13. that was definitely not that easy. I would have not thought of that answer out of the blue and will be interested to hear sunday how the person figured it out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  14. blueshoes,

    No, not that easy at all, blueshoes (nice handle!). Who knows why Will said it was? That’s the puzzle I want solved.

    I applaud Lorenzo for his strategy (in an above post) of finding the drugstore chain website with a list of their product brands. But that’s still no piece of eight-layer, easy-as-pizza-pie cake!

    Reminds me of those ancient turntables, from the 1950s and 1960s, where you could stack a handful of records on a spindle above the plating surface. When a record finished playing the low record in the stack would, by mechanical means, plop down and begin playing. Take that Ipod!

    Happy Earth Day to you, all you birthers, flat-earthers and creation scientists (who put roughly 6,000 candles on their Earth’s birthday cake. Sounds like a lot, I know, but it really could be a lot more!)

    Paul,

    Yeah, you convinced me, trees have cool. It makes perfect sense. I recently bought a product related to Cottonelle, Kleenex, at my local corner drugstore because I have a cold. My tabby cat has warms, and she also has the hots for my neighbor’s tomcat.

    LegHoldtheAnchovies

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not sure that pizza cake is even physically possible. Jon Stewart would probably not approve -- he even claims that Chicago deep-dish pizza isn't real pizza. I don't think he'd even OK the roast duck poutine pizza I had at Bannock in Toronto.

      Anyway, I agree that this puzzle wasn't as easy as Will said it was. And it's tough to hint at, as well. (Blaine's clue had me looking for anagrams of Ty-D-Bol.) But there's more than one way to skin a cat.

      Delete
    2. jan,

      Your clever clue leaves much to the imagination (although my cat was not especially fond of it). My clue requires no imagination whatsoever.

      LegoCatSkinnerBlues

      Delete
  15. Alright all you Earthy people, listen up and do the right thing: have you hugged at least one tree today?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm keeping my eye on Kepler-22b, just in case...

      Delete
    2. "Happy Kepler-22b Day!" doesn't have quite the same ring to it though, jan.

      Delete
  16. Would you say this involves a sticky situation?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unless perhaps you are a sapiosexual.

      Delete
    2. Really Word Woman! Did you have to bring sap into the conversation?

      Delete
  17. Lego:
    Okay, night before last I watched Diner, but not in my tux, and Absinth was also absent. I had a feeling I might have seen it and as I watched it I faintly recalled bits, but I hated this film. I am not attracted to films about losers. It was a huge bore and I thought the acting and script were awful. Where was the story? At the diner the Bacon was greasy. I thought Seattle was boring in the Fifties, but Baltimore appears to have been more so. I could not relate to any of these jerks.

    On a better note, last night I attended a new production at The Seattle Repertory Theater. Three and a half hours, including two intermissions, of superb acting and all the rest that goes with it. Best time I have had in the theater in a couple of years.





    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I meant to mention the name of the play, which was Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?, by Edward Albee. I always thought the film version, with Burton & Taylor, was good, but this put that to shame. Not the fault of the actors, but so much was left out in the movie.

      Delete
    2. I agree on Diner, SDB. I saw it back when it was originally released on video (way back in the day). I never did understand the appeal of that one. I honestly have never seen any version of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, so I have no comment on that one.

      Delete
    3. Thanks, CJI, but I know I am not alone on this one anyway. Now, as to Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf. Don't, I repeat, do not watch the movie, good as it is. Instead, do yourself a BIG favor and get on a plane to Seattle and get a ticket to see the actual, full production as it was meant to be experienced. Sell your house if you must, but don't let this opportunity pass you by. If you do sell the house, you are totally welcome to sleep on my couch for a week until you find a new place. After a week, your ass is outta here. Full disclosure, dude.

      And another thing. I have to admit I have enjoyed Stand By Me, and have watched it at least three times, but each time I see more and more how much better it could have been. And one of the child actors was truly awful, in my (as I am sure you will agree) completely unbiased opinion. What saved this picture was the music, and Will Wheaton. Certainly not the director. See how fair I am!?

      Delete
    4. Where there's a Wil, there's a whey. And where there's a will, I want to be in it.

      Delete
  18. Replies
    1. I wish I had thought of such a concise clue earlier.

      Delete
    2. Oh.

      Actually I thought you might be hinting at the Periodic Table of Elephants. I had myself done this and quickly abandoned it. I did not solve the puzzle this week. I tried, but not like I usually do because I did not want to go through long lists of products. I do not care about brands except in a few cases. I also did not focus on food items, but more mundane stuff such as Brillo Pads. I also thought it might be something you might see while in line at the check stand, such as People. I also thought about gum. Candy never occurred to me.

      Delete
    3. O was inspired, jan!

      Reminded me also of "O, Tannenbaum!"

      Delete
  19. LIFE SAVERS -> FIRS, LEAVES

    > But there's more than one way to skin a cat.

    I.e., to get it to LEAVE its FIR, uh, fur.

    > No, I do nut.

    LIFE SAVERS and donuts share a toroidal topology.

    > O

    Do I have to draw you a picture?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Fir, leaves --> Lifesaver

    Last Sunday I said, “I heard the puzzle about 7:45 this morning. The answer just popped into my brain at around 9:30 while I was trimming my beard and moustache. I wasn’t even really thinking about the puzzle.

    Interestingly, my brain solved it backwards – picked a brand name so it only remained for me to see if it contained the tree information. It did. Sometimes you think your brain is taking a nap but it isn’t – it’s doing some pretty good work for you behind the scenes.

    I know of no way to research this puzzle – nothing to look up. I think you’re either going to get it or not. There’s no clue in these remarks – you needn’t look. I haven’t been able to think of one that wouldn’t be a dead giveaway. I’ll keep working on it.”

    Actually, I lied – there is a small hint in the above. Dead giveaway contrasted with life saver :)


    Chuck

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chuck, whenever you say "There's no clue here -- you needn't look," I know to look.

      Delete
  21. I bet this puzzle will get a huge laugh in South Korea. NOT!

    ReplyDelete
  22. FIRS, LEAVES >>> LIFESAVERS

    See my profile pic which shows rings of a tree.

    "doesn't have the same ring to it." LIFESAVERS

    ReplyDelete
  23. What the Devil !?! Lifesavers! I gave up long ago, but "drugstores" was such a major mis-direct! Could have been gas station, stationery, news stand, candy store, whatever. What time I spent on this was all directed to medicines and over-the-counter health products.

    Do you know how many of the letters in LEAVES are in VASELINE? All of them!

    No hard feelings, but this is two weeks in a row when I was utterly in the dark.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you think it would have been more fair had it been stated more along the lines of something located near check stands?

      Delete
  24. Whenever Will says he thinks the puzzle is "easy" I usually don't spend too much time on it. Only 60 posts on Blaine's blog by Thursday indicates to me that others didn't find it "easy" either...

    ReplyDelete
  25. 1. Certain trees: MAPLE trees.
    Something trees have: a LEAF.
    Brand name: MAPLE LEAF products.

    2. Certain trees: ELM trees.
    Something trees have: SAP.
    Brand name: MAPLE'S ice cream.

    3. Certain trees: FIR trees.
    Something trees have: TOPS.
    Brand name: SPORTIF.

    4. Certain trees: ELM trees.
    Something trees have: RINGS.
    Brand name: MINGLERS mint chocolate candy.


    5. Certain trees: FIR trees
    Something trees have:CONES
    Brand name: FORENSIC magazine.

    6. Certain trees: LINDEN trees.
    Something trees have: SAP
    Brand name: PINELANDS Brewing Company.

    7. Certain trees: PECAN trees.
    Something trees have: TOPS
    Brand name: CAPSTONE books.

    8. And lastly, of course, certain trees: FIR trees
    Something “some” trees have: LEAVES.
    Brand name: LIFESAVERS candy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. These are great, ron.

      I learned that needles are considered to be the leaves of conifers so LEAVES works for all trees.

      Where were you when I was trying to come up with something including cambium?!

      Delete
    2. ron:
      I have never heard of any of the brands on your above list other than Lifesavers. I do not think some or all of them are even available here.

      Delete
    3. Don't forget my original post for my 9th answer:

      9. Certain trees: FIRS.
      Something trees have: BARK.
      Brand name: FRISK BAR.

      Delete
  26. My two clues explained:

    The obscure clue “coffee cup”: The donut-shaped Lifesaver (candy or flotation device) is topologically equivalent to a coffee cup (one with a finger-hole holder, anyway) or coffee mug with a handle. (Is there a word for the “finger-hole holder” in a teacup or coffee cup? I think it’s to small to be called a “handle.”)

    I told jan, “Your clever clue leaves much to the imagination” after he included in a post “There is more than one way to skin a cat,” (which suggests “fur” = “fir” tree). My clue that “requires no imagination whatsoever” was using the word “leaves,” the verb in my compliment to jan. (I missed jan’s even-more-subtle idea that fur “leaves” a cat when it is skinned. jan’s more recent “O” clue was elegant.)

    Bob K. and sdb,
    Good points. Will’s inclusion of “drugstore” was a bordering-on-unfair misdirect. sdb’s suggested substitute of “near the check-outs” would have been much better.

    BTY, sdb, I agree with you that “Diner” doesn’t have much of a plot. It is a series of loosely related vignettes (or, more fitting for this flick, vinaigrettes). Some of them hits, others misses. For me, more hits than misses. For you, mostly misses. You’re like the guy at the beginning of the movie who was browsing television sets at the store, but didn’t like the newfangled color sets… I guess “Diner” was just “not for (you).”


    ron,
    Very nice exhaustive list!

    WW,
    I too learned that a fir’s “leaves” are its needles. I had been toying with the notion of hinting, “These particular trees do not possess the ‘things trees have’ in Will’s answer,” but a visit to Ms. Merriam Webster disabused me of that notion. (It actually would have been a pretty helpful clue, unless you’re some kind of arborist, dendrologist or “treevia” expert.)

    LegoTopo…

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do palms have leaves, or just fronds?

      Delete
    2. Waaay back in my brain, I remember learning that fronds are finely divided, large leaves. And that palm are not true trees...they don't grow annual tree rings, etc.

      And yes, I was frond of your question, ron.

      Delete
    3. Did you know Scotland has some adjacent islands with palm trees? No joke.

      Delete
    4. Yes, and France and England also.

      They go hand in hand. . .

      Delete
    5. Did you hear about the amorous magician who could palm his date?

      Delete
    6. sdb,

      Your response to ron reminds me of the fellow who said. “If God wanted me to touch my toes he would have put them on my knees.” There are about three degrees of separation (called knuckles) between a fingernail and the palm. (And about three degrees of Kevin Bacon if you’re wolfing down breakfast (eggs poachy w/bacon) sans utensils at Lego’s Crossroads Diner, which I realize you would never stoop to do. Whoop-dee-doo!)

      No, ron and sdb, palms have love, heart, fate and marriage lines. And Lifelines, not to be confused with Lifesavers. Or fir leaves. As someone has I’m sure already said (perhaps on this very site), “With fronds like these, who need anemonies?”

      LegoKnucklehead

      Delete
    7. Lego:

      Did you hear about the magician with a sweet tooth who could palm sundae?

      And one other thing. Please STOP with the poached egg thing. I like my eggs HARD. Just the thought of wiggly eggs gives me the creeps.

      Oh, another thing. All this reminds me of an iconic Seattle restaurant that is just off downtown, but hidden from view. They intended to put up a sign, but found it unnecessary as it was always overflowing. A high end place with a counter where a diner (ugh, that term!) could watch the chefs do their magic. The "stools" are plush high back. An extensive menu, which used to include abalone, and I partook frequently of this now unavailable delicacy. The point of all this is while they did not have Kevin Bacon, they did have "Steak Sinatra, Ala Mia." I never tried it, but almost everything they had was great and still is, although that dish is no longer on the menu, probably due to a younger crowd not understanding. This place never closed, (remodels excepted) even on Xmas. It stays open 24 hours and also has a great bar. Very high class, including the after midnight high end prostitutes who frequent the place. Always a laugh to witness. I almost forgot the name, Thirteen Coins. Where fronds meet fronds.

      Delete
  27. I, like others, got led astray by the drugstore reference. I visit Walgreen's and Rite Aid about as often as the average person, but can't recall the last time I saw Lifesavers candy at either. Now that I think about it, I haven't seen Lifesavers at the grocery either; but, I don't visit the candy aisle in the grocery. My taste in candy tends towards the specialty dark chocolate that the local natural grocery carries. As for this puzzle, I got stuck on the health/beauty/medicine products that would normally be common to groceries and drugstores. Garnier Fructis caught my interest because it could make a lot of tree words, like fruit,citrus, ring, grain, fir, and possibly others.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tried the easy combinations first, figuring on leaves, branches, or sap plus a short tree name. Elms, oaks, firs...there it was.

      Chuck's description of it popping into his head (like popping a lifesaver into his mouth) helped. Lego's records plopping off the stack (like Lifesavers plopping off the roll) helped. Lots of subliminal hinting this week. ;-)

      My grandmother kept butterscotch Lifesavers in her purse all the time. I, like you, Curtis, prefer the dark chocolate from Sunflower!

      Starting at the brands, I knew, would be too hard so I went for the easier, obvious tree parts and tree names with pen and paper.

      Anyone know where "brand new" comes from?

      Delete
    2. That's when you mark your wildebeest with a hot iron. Or did I mis-hear?

      Delete
    3. Yes, it's a cowboy term that came out of a steering committee, which is their new term for roundup.

      Delete
    4. I was thinking of devising a clue having to do with earthquake light, just for you, hinting at the triboluminescence of Wint-O-Green Life Savers. (Try crunching one in a dark closet with a mirror some time. Just don't try explaining to anyone what you're doing in a dark closet with a mirror.)

      Delete
    5. SDB, I thought Roundup was the term for GMO corn-ready herbicide...

      Delete
    6. Reminds me of some of the guys in the Army that would creatively use their lighters after consuming chili.

      Delete
    7. jan, I just checked and indeed it is a term/brand for fertilizer. I did not know this and was just reworking an old joke I made up and I think used here some time back, but I really like that joke a lot.

      Delete
    8. Had many arguments with residents on my surgery rotation about the nature of flatus. They kept trying to convince me that it was just swallowed air, and that's why they wanted to make sure that patients were passing gas before being sent home after abdominal surgery, since it proved their digestive tract was working end-to-end. Yeah, then how come you can light farts, I insisted?

      Delete
    9. Roundup is an herbicide/weedkiller, not a fertilizer. Monsanto makes it, along with genetically modified, "Roundup-Ready" corn, that's resistant to it. That's the focus of much of the debate about GMOs in the food chain.

      Delete
    10. Word Woman, I suspect everyone's grandmother had Life Savers in the bottom of her purse, because once one of them got loose in there, it would stick forever.

      Delete
    11. jan, Interesting to know. I have always been against the GMOs in our food, but did not feel any need to research it beyond what seems like a no brainer to me. If Europe is against it, then so am I.

      I remember decades ago doctors were pushing the idea that swallowing air was the cause of excessive farting. I knew that was a crock. Good to hear not all MDs took that bus.

      Delete
    12. Now, igniting farts and making Life Savers spark in the dark is all well and good, but to have real fun playing with your food, make an electric pickle bulb: Cut off the female end of an old extension cord you won't miss, split the wire pair for a few inches, strip a little insulation off the ends of the wires, and solder on a couple of nails. Put a whole pickle on a non-conducting board (that's important!), stick one of the nails in each end, turn off all the lights, and plug the other end of the cord into an outlet. In a few seconds, the pickle will start sputtering and glowing bright green. (Make sure that the American Cucumber Liberties Union has exhausted all appeals before Westinghousing your pickle.)

      Delete
    13. I take it were one to place the contraption on a conducting board, one would be in a real pickle. And by the way, does this cause warts?

      Delete
    14. It's not too different in principle from a device used to burn warts off. Speaking of which, electrocuted pickles give off an awful smell. But they'll earn you great respect among grade-school kids.

      Delete
    15. I had forgotten all about this experiment that one of the kids down the block, as I was trying to grow up, tried with a twist. He talked his younger brother into resting his scrotum on the about to be executed pickle. The result was a severe case of Pickle Ball. We all considered it just another one of life's vinaigrettes.

      Delete
    16. Sometimes posing questions is so much more fun and informative than Googling...

      Yeah, I've been researching Roundup (brilliant brand name for rounding up those weeds like a cowboy), the weedkiller used extensively in Kau'i for a three season-GMO corn crop for PEOTS next week. Extensive spraying of Round-up occurs before each planting. It kills just about every broadleaf out there...How can it possibly be a good thing for any being to consume? Corn can be modified three times as fast with three growing seasons. Nasty all the way around.

      Giving the product a non-chemical name has been part of the brand name success, unfortunately.

      Ok, more next Tuesday.

      Thinking of all those grandmother's purses with Lifesavers at the bottom. Wonder why that tradition didn't get passed down? Much more pleasant to think about than Roundup.

      Like the Wint-o-green lifesavers, I thought of bringing up the diet Coke-Mentos experiment but decided it was too much info.

      Never tried the pickle experiment, jan,...but did get a potato to work ;-)

      Delete
    17. WW, for the answer to your question you should probably ask a purser.

      Delete
    18. From all of that, sdb, you got only Lifesavers and purser? SMH like maracas in Caracas.

      Delete
    19. WW, you got a potato to incandesce? Or are you talking about turning it into a battery, with a penny and a nickle?

      Delete
    20. jan, it was the battery with a penny and nickel. I scanned your experiment quickly after teaching. Although, we did use pickle juice today to test for acids or bases with cabbage-tinted paper.

      Delete
    21. I imagine if you got enough potato batteries together, you could get them to electrify a pickle bulb. Throw them in with your turmeric, cabbage and beet dyes for a full-color power lunch.

      Delete
    22. When experiments go sour. . .

      Haha to the power lunch! Watt should we name this gastronomic delight, er, light?

      Delete
    23. Don't forget salt. Then you can have a salt & battery.

      Delete
    24. Looking for a brand new joke.

      Delete
    25. The pun also rises: What's the difference between LEAVES and a car? One you brush and rake, the other you rush and brake. Especially for WW & SDB. ☺

      Delete
    26. Well don't go out on a limb, especially if it's pitch dark or you might end up looking like a sap. :-)

      Delete
    27. Thanks, ron, but that is actually a Spoonerism. :-)

      Delete
    28. Risking looking like a sap, here are some CONVERSION EQUATIONS you may need someday!

      1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

      2. 2000 pounds of Chinese Soup = Won ton

      3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

      4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

      5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

      6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

      7. 365.25 days of drinking low calorie beer = 1 Lite year

      8. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

      9. Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon

      10. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

      11. Basic unit of laryngitis - 1 hoarsepower

      12. Shortest distance between two jokes - a straight line

      13. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

      14. 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone

      15. 1 million bicycles = 1 megacycle

      16. 365 days = 1 unicycle

      17. 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds

      18. 10 cards = 1 decacard

      19. 52 cards = 1 deckacard

      20. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton

      21. 1000 grams of wet socks = 1 literhosen

      22. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

      23. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

      24. 10 rations = 1 decaration

      25. 100 rations = 1 C-Ration

      26. 2 monograms = 1 diagram

      27. 8 nickels = 2 paradigms

      28. 5 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League

      Delete
    29. ron, those are great.

      A big laugh over your SAT test results = 1 testicle

      A frigid workspace - 1 cubicle

      1 chintzy tip to your bartender = 1 barnacle

      I know, it's not my best effort, but I had to at least try.

      Delete
    30. Okay ron, this will probably mean I will never be canonized into sainthood, but, no guts, no glory.

      Second coming of Christ = A celestial quickie.

      I could not just discard that one. So, there, WW, is your brand new joke.

      Delete
    31. SDB, Yours are excellent. Last "the pun also rises" joke of the evening: What do you call a ferocious nude? A grizzly bare.

      Delete
    32. ron,
      Thanks. And not bad. Here's one I made up a few years ago.
      What do you call a gay monkey?

      Delete
    33. Thanks, ron. I enjoyed those puns also rising, the yeast of which were # 4, 12 and 27.

      Delete
    34. Wait, isn't a megacycle just 500,000 bicycles?

      1,024 rations is a K-ration.

      A billionth of a puppy is a picothelitter.

      A trillionth of a kudo is an attoboy.

      Two jerks next to each other is an orthotic.

      The practice I work for is owned by a paradox.

      Delete
    35. Sorry, I was looking at the wrong, long scale. That should be a trillionth of a puppy and a quintillionth of a kudo. What's a couple of orders of magnitude between friends?

      Delete
    36. Picothelitter--ha, quite funny! Put that at the top of the K-9 humour list, jan.

      Speaking of orders of magnitude, I did enjoy the earthquake light reference with Wint-O-green Lifesavers based on the science of tribology or rubbing. Tri it, you'll like it!

      Delete
  28. William Jefferson C. told me that pine roots anagrams to porno site.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Lifesaver sparks, lighting farts, pickle bulbs, pickle balls, potato batteries, scientific measurement puns…
    Gee, it’s fun to be at Blainesville’s math-science summer camp with sdb, ron, jan and all my other SLY FRIENDS. (anagrams to “NERDS IS FLY!”)

    Hey guys, what say we let WW into our camp. Yeah, she’s a girl and everything, but she doesn’t seem really all that priggish, prim or prissy. And she seems pretty smart at science and math and stuff, smarter’n me anyway. Let’s take a vote. I’ve got some space pens and a Star Trek notepad here in my pocket protector…

    WW,

    Regarding subliminal hints: In my “phonograph stack o’records” image, my “hint” was entirely unintentional. I will grant that somewhere back in the cobwebby recesses of my gray matter (time for a spring cleaning!), in a brain pan labeled “spools, discs, donuts and other cylinders with holes in the center,” a record and a Lifesaver might have clanked together.

    Back in the 1970s there was a ubiquitous and paranoia-fueling buzz about subliminal advertising. I recall an early Columbo episode in which an ad agency exec (played by Robert Culp{able}) uses subliminal messages to facilitate a murder he commits. The climax of the episode begins at the 13:40 minute mark on this You Tube clip.

    LegoLiminal

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lego, enjoyed the columbo cliP aboUT sublimiNal slIdeS. the blInd guy one was greaT as wEll.

      Was looking for a connection between liminal (threshhold) and limnology (the study of fresh bodies of water) but they have different roots (unlike aspen trees). Back to trees!

      Delete
  30. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  31. sdb,

    Your palm sundae joke (from about 90 posts ago) is clever (and messy). I can’t wait to spring it on my friends. Yet, I will have to wait because it’s not timely again till next spring.

    Your beloved 13 Coins (it’s-not-a-diner,-it’s-a) Restaurant lists a dozen egg entrees on its menu, a third of which feature two poached (and weediculously wiggly!) eggs. (BTW, Wiggly Field just celebrated its 100th anniversary a few days back. Cubs celebrated by blowing a 3-run lead in the ninth inning. On a somewhat unrelated note, I’ve discovered that Wiggly chewing gum doesn’t actually get weally wiggly until after you chew on it a bit and it becomes ABC gum.)

    Steak Sinatra is still on this menu, sdb, but with no mention of Mia, either “a la-” or “mama-.”

    A souped-up version of Harriet’s “the usual” is on the menu, too: Hot Turkey Meatloaf Sandwich! (Maybe, like the eponymous Steak Sinatra, this is this named after Meat Loaf, the singer? Laugh-out-loud moment from the annals of journalism: The NYT did a story in which Meat Loaf was mentioned a few times; on the second reference they referred to him as Mr. Loaf!)

    In my universe, nothing says “diner,” “dive” or “greasy spoon” more than a meatloaf sandwich. But perhaps that is just a misprint on the 13 Coins menu?

    Or perhaps I’m just jealous. Here at Lego’s Crossroads Diner, we don’t serve no crustless gutless samitches posing as highfalutin, hoity-toity gourmet cuisine. Two new seafood entrees (our Red Roughy Sandwich and Roe Crusty Sandwich) are about as close as we get. But at least we don’t serve meatloaf.

    sdb, it sounds to me as if you suffer from an aversion to wiggly eggs. We in the physioculinary field have a name for this condition: “Wiggly Egg Syndrome.” It is similar to Restless Leg Syndrome but much more fun to say. Those afflicted with WES must avoid worms, minnows, goldfish, pigtails, Jell-o, and Santa’s belly. And, of course, eggs poachy.

    Actually, very few of our entrees at Lego’s are at all wiggly. Indeed, you have inspired me to remedy that oversight by adding a few new ones: Egg Wiggly W/Ragouts; Egg Wiggly W/Flavour; Egg Wiggly Frabjous; and, taking a page from the Sam’s Club/Costco free-samples playbook, on Fridays and Saturdays we now serve Egg Wiggly Handouts.

    We’ve also added three new bargain entrees to our diner menu, each costing a mere $3.14: Pi Crumby Calzones; Pi, Punchy Flavored; and Pi Slurpy Escargot. Inspired by the 13 Coins Restaurant name, I also challenge my patrons to pay for their Pi entrees with exactly 13 coins (using some combination of pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, half-dollars and dollars with a sum of exactly $3.14).

    How many different combinations can we find?

    LegoWiggly

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lego, I see you have different strategic tactics ;-).

      Delete
  32. Since you mention phonograph records again, why was that 3-armed plastic thing you stick in the big hole of a 45-rpm disc so you could play it on a regular turntable called a "spider"? Someone been pulling legs off little creep-crawlies again? Why not a triskelion, like on the flags of Sicily or the Isle of Man, or that weird episode of the soon-to-be-popular Star Trek show?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. jan, perhaps you misheard & they were actually triders ;-).

      Tri- things are odd.

      Delete
    2. WW,
      Or maybe they’re tridaptors? Or Tri-ckyToFitIntoTheDamnRecordHole!

      Good question, jan. Yes, triskelion would be a better name for those little rascals. Fortunately there were no swastika-shaped adaptors!

      Of the “spiders” pictured here, only one (middle left) is based on a square. Most are based on equilateral triangles (or hexagons, which are composed of six such triangles), which suggest the triskelion designs.

      Maybe the preference for three over four stems from the fact that the hole in the record is circular, and one can tile a plane with circles (with gaps resembling curvy concave triangles) much as you can tile the plane with hexagons (no gaps), with each hexagon/circle surrounded by six others. When you tile a plane with squares, each square is surrounded by four or eight other squares, depending on how you define “surround.” L7, man!

      Those “spiders” always seemed to be crawling off and hiding, under sofas, cushions, beds etc. I remember often trying to play an adaptor-less record on my turntable, Little Eva’s “Locomotion” or Neil Sedaka’s “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do“, eyeballing the hole so the spindle would be dead center. The record would inevitably oscillate like a warped bicycle wheel with a dozen loose spokes.

      LegoMotion

      Delete
    3. You can go round and round on that one. Definitely a circular argument.

      Delete
  33. I forgot to give the answer to, What do you call a gay monkey? A chimp pansy, of course.

    Been having trouble getting back to sleep, so thought I'd look through the Michelin Guide where I discovered that the manger where Mary gave birth only received one star! However, it did mention the name of the donkey: Hoh Tee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sdb,
      Hate to get all serious on you but I don’t like your gay monkey joke. It perpetuates the limp-wrested, light-in-the-loafers false stereotype of gay men. The vast majority of homosexual men act and appear “normal,” blending into the woodwork of traditional masculinity.

      According to my Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Tenth Edition, pansy, faggot and queer can be synonyms for “a homosexual man,” but the terms are “usually used disparagingly.”

      I realize you cannot resist a good pun, you love creating them, and you are very good at it, but I think that some gay people, and others too, who follow this blog might be offended by this one.

      Please take this in the spirit in which I am trying to give it. Your comments on this blog are 99.999 percent of the time excellent, entertaining, creative and thought-provoking. I hope you don’t take offense. And I trust you don’t mean to give any.

      Lego…

      Delete
    2. LegoPCo,
      Thank you, I actually appreciate your above comment on my joke and I am well aware it may offend some people, which is not my intent. I do not feel we have the right to expect to go through our lives without being offended from time to time, although no offense is meant. I also feel that when any group is off limits when it comes to humor it places them on a pedestal that tempts bigots, etc. to try and knock them off. This is one of the reasons I am against MLK Day. The idea of one person being singled out for a holiday is repugnant to me. I believe it is counter productive (I'm not talking about diners now) and we would all be better served if the holiday were called Civil Rights Day instead. My number one civil rights hero is not MLK, but Bayard Rustin, but I do not want his name used for the holiday either. I also realize it is more difficult to determine the intention of the joke teller when it is only in print form on a blog, but I am not a strong advocate of political correctness which I feel stifles creative thinking. You also seem to be implying that I am a straight male in your comments. But do you really know that for sure?

      However, I am sorry if it offended you. :-)

      Delete
    3. Mark (aka skydiveboy),

      Thank you for your apology to Lego and the group. I really like this group of people (even though most of us have not met). I was only half kidding about my comment about sapiosexuals earlier. I think we are all attracted to the creative way of puzzling, riffing, and slightly needling one another (The rattled comment was inspired, btw...too many other comments before I got back to write that).

      Yes, you can be a pain in the a** sometimes, but so can I. It's refreshing to see folks show a little more of themselves. Sorry for getting all sappyosexual on you ;-).

      Anyway, thanks for writing. I was happily surprised.

      Stephanie (aka Word Woman)

      Delete
    4. WW,
      Thanks, but now you have me curious as to how you found my first name??? I really don't care; just curious.

      Delete
    5. You told us your name was Mark during the Mark Antony puzzle. I figured it was time I used it.

      Steph

      Delete
    6. sdb,
      A thoughtful response, not surprisingly. Thank you.

      I echo WW’s comments above.

      Let me go on the record to say I have offended many in my lifetime. I too can be a real a** sometimes. I ought not be casting first stones. But I can’t help casting a nerf ball or two occasionally.

      Regarding the end of your comment, you’re right, I don’t know which gender you’re attracted to sexually. If you were gay I still would not like your joke. But I do like your contributions to this blog, whether you’re gay, straight or Martian.

      In this crazy cyberworld we know one another only on the verbal surface. It’s like a bowl of alphabet soup with noodly letters floating but with the real meat and potatoes, carrots and celery lurking beneath. I have a hard enough time cracking that surface in real life.

      Thanks again. No need to respond, unless you want to. You can email me too, if you want: legolambda@aol.com

      LegoLambda (aka LegoLambda)

      Delete
    7. Oh, I don't remember that. I should say that I don't think being a pain in the ass sometimes is a negative thing necessarily. When everyone goes along with the crowd in order to make no waves and not be criticized then nothing can change. I am a bit surprised the monkey joke was objected to rather than the Second coming line that I expected I might get a negative comment on, but I am still laughing at it today. I think it is not uncommon for us to think when we make a joke about something we are putting it down, when it may just be playing with the words. Not that I never use humor to be caustic, but never in a bigoted or racist way. That would be unfair and I don't feel that way anyway, but one is not born a Republican. That is meant to be humorous and also serious. When a mainstream group attacks, I feel fully justified to respond in kind.

      Delete
  34. I've been to the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem, Very strange low entry door. Was told this was to prevent warriors from entering on horseback, but I doubt a horse could have crawled in.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Michelin Guide has a photo of the letter Mary sent to Travelocity complaining that the manger did not smell exactly like roses. Apparently Donkey, Hoh Tee did not complain.

      Delete
    2. Not exactly like roses, more like rocinante, which is close, I guess.

      Delete
    3. jan,
      Are you saying Travelocity should change their slogan to, Go and smell the horses?

      Delete
  35. Next week's challenge from Mike Reiss, a writer for The Simpsons: Name a famous actor or actress whose last name ends in a doubled letter. Drop that doubled letter. Then insert an R somewhere inside the first name. The result will be a common two-word phrase. What is it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only 45 correct answers to the Lifesavers puzzle. (And a shout-out from Mills in CO to KCFR!)

      Say, is it mere coincidence that we were just discussing spider adapters and 45's earlier this week?! ...Yes, probably.

      Delete
    2. General outrage, yes, Nils! Hoping there is no General Outrage about my early morning hearing skills ;-).

      Delete
  36. I guess we have the rest of the week until Thursday and all powers at our disposal to solve this one.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Fo shizzle, true story: Heard the puzzle, ran through the very limited number of actors I knew with double letters, figured I was not sufficiently well-versed in all these new, strangely-spelled names, set the puzzle aside. But then, apparently because I was keeping an open mind - meditating? No, doing laundry - it hit me. First one I have solved in reasonable time in three weeks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The key to solving then is to spend time today near water (Bob K in the laundry room, Nils and Chuck in the bathroom showering or beard/mustache trimming, or, I'd like to add, in the pool or ocean swimming!)

      Fo shizzle, indeed, Bob.

      Delete
  38. I was hoping to find an actress named Tala Ladd. The intended answer pales in comparison to Trala La.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Hey, Blaine -- Betcha can't let me get away with this next clue (even more succinct than my "O" last week:





    -- jan

    ReplyDelete
  40. And, not to get too philosophical on y'all but maybe the problems of our world today stem from no longer being Lifesavers all stuck together on a roll. Now we're individually wrapped Jolly Ranchers or Starbursts.

    Think about it. Someone had to mention eye (I) candy ;-).

    ReplyDelete