Q: The object is to pitch a TV show idea to one of the networks, either broadcast or cable, in which your TV show's title is just one letter different from an existing show's title, past or present. Name your TV show and summarize it in 15 words or less.
Examples:
N.Y.P.D. CLUE — Manhattan crime investigation in which each case hinges on a single, unexpected piece of evidence
HAVE GUT, WILL TRAVEL — Portly host tours the best all-you-can-eat restaurants in America
Entries will be judged on their sense, naturalness of wording, humor and overall effect. No more than three entries per person, please. The person who sends the best TV pitch will play the on-air puzzle in two weeks
Sunday, June 03, 2018
NPR Sunday Puzzle (Jun 3, 2018): Two Week Challenge - TV Show Pitch
NPR Sunday Puzzle (Jun 3, 2018): Two Week Challenge - TV Show Pitch:
160 comments:
For NPR puzzle posts, don't post the answer or any hints that could lead to the answer before the deadline (usually Thursday at 3pm ET). If you know the answer, submit it to NPR, but don't give it away here.
You may provide indirect hints to the answer to show you know it, but make sure they don't assist with solving. You can openly discuss your hints and the answer after the deadline. Thank you.
This is a TWO week creative challenge. Don't post any outright spoilers to your answers unless you want to give away your submission. If you have a good set of TV show titles, click on the NPR link in the post and save them so we can talk about them after the deadline.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, if you have a movie or book title that you'd like to post, feel free.
Excellent graphic, Blaine! (And fast!) "Almost 1000" correct entries last week.
ReplyDeleteReal credit goes to artist andyblum and his submission to Bored Panda
DeleteAnother example of the kind of puzzle I never enter – the kind where you don’t know if you’ve got the answer or not.
ReplyDeleteI'm not planning on submitting. Besides, I suspect "Crapper John, M.D. - a reality tour of the best and worst bathrooms in Miami-Dade County" is a bit indecorous for NPR; I hope not so for this blog.
ReplyDelete"Crapper John, M.D." is my pick as "leader in the clubhouse," eco. But yes, I agree that NPR would alas likely kibosh it on scatological grounds.
DeleteAnd, if there were a visual component to Will's challenge, andyblum's "King Pong" poster (astutely cyber-mined by Blaine) should win paddles down!
LegoWhoStarsIn"TheLogoMovie"(ADocumentaryOnBranding)
HAVE GUN WILL SHOOT, weekly classroom drama at local high school.
ReplyDeleteSponsored by the NRA.
DeleteHo hum. We did this already with book titles, starting at 6:04 p.m. on 9/17/17.
ReplyDeleteAny new challenges out there?
Maybe this link will work >>>
Deletehttps://puzzles.blainesville.com/2017/09/npr-sunday-puzzle-sep-17-2017-back-to.html?showComment=1505696694374#c7298531276867728780
Bonus Question: How far into Lulu's announcement "So you are going to be travelling..." did you think "Oh No!'
ReplyDeleteRight away!
DeleteThis is B.S.
ReplyDelete(Long-time reader, first-time poster. Just couldn't resist with this one.)
I am sure you will find something to riff on here at the BEST TV SHOWS EVER.
ReplyDeleteMURPHY GROWN Up.
DeleteHowdy Boody – Clarabell’s sure-fire pickup lines.
ReplyDeleteOne Lay at a Time – Motherhood secrets of hens.
Hawaii 5-1 – The next generation.
Entrants should be awarded Bonus Points if they use the word “feckless” in their pitch.
When to submit an entry to a puzzle like this? Not right away, of course: you don't want to think of a better answer right after you hit "send" on your first three. Better to wait until right before 3 pm ET the Thursday after next. But is Will really just going to start reading thousands of entries then? You don't want a pissed-off Puzzlemaster. What to do?
ReplyDeleteI suggest spending your time and money with the Society To Repel Anagram Puzzles. New members receive the #MAGA Make Anagrams Go Away red hat of hatred.
DeleteDid you know “maga” means “a member of the priestly caste among the Sauras of India.” Perhaps 45 really wants to cast(e) us to an Indian group.
DeleteI’m assuming a show about zombies engaging in self-pleasure would be a bit too risqué for NPR, no?
ReplyDeleteTHE TALKING DEAD?
Delete@ron Already an actual show!
DeleteI thought the show was THE WALKING DEAD.
DeleteJyqm: welcome to the conversation. Your intended answer is also already a short film, which is unfortunate on many, many levels.
Deleteecoarchitect - thanks for the welcome! I guess most potential lewd answers already exist as porn parodies, huh?
Deleteron - "The Talking Dead" is a chat/analysis show hosted by Chris Hardwick that airs on AMC after every new episode of "The Walking Dead," usually featuring some of the stars as guests.
I suppose trying to make Luck (TV Series 2011–2012) work is just a waste of time.
ReplyDeleteWhat about "Newfart," the gas-passing trials and tribulations of newcomers to Vermont?
ReplyDeleteYes, that one does have a certain air abut it. I hope he doesn't pass on it.
Deletesdb, agreed. And from Wikipedia: "Colloquially, flatulence may be referred to as "farting", "trumping", "tooting", "passing gas", "breaking wind" or simply (in American English) "gas" or (British English) "wind".
DeleteI wonder if there's a definition for pencing.
Pence are the lowest unit of English currency. With current valuation, they, like our pennies, are all but worthless, which does seems rather appropriate.
DeletePerhaps: What's My Mine? Don Blankenship strives to save his reputation by resurrecting the coal industry.
ReplyDeleteHow about: Dragnot. Attorney General Jeff Sessions brings decorum back to the land of the free.
ReplyDeleteNUNSMOKE
ReplyDeleteDrama about Sister Marcia Dillon and her fellow nuns who help her swear off cigarettes.
SEA HUNK
"Bachelor"-style reality show in which this particular eligible man once worked for Jacques Cousteau.
TEX AND THE CITY
Libidinous Amarillo-born Tex Bradshaw moves to New York City and befriends three equally horny guys.
WHOSE LICE IS IT ANYWAY?
Contestants must choose the dirtiest of three different families; Loser has to bathe them all.
MAGNUM P. U.
Drama about a mustachioed detective who hasn't bathed since the 1980s.
HAPPY GAYS
Sitcom about a bunch of closeted homosexuals during the 1950s.
CHO'S THE BOSS?
Comedian Margaret Cho stars in her own sitcom as a professional Bruce Springsteen impersonator.
WALL STREET GEEK
Sitcom chronicling the day-to-day life of the nerdiest New York Stock Exchange employee ever.
DRAGNUT
Hour-long drama about a transvestite who also fights crime.
THE LOVE GOAT
Advice call-in show for lovelorn farmers.
THE DEADLIEST MATCH
"Dating Game" takeoff, except one of the bachelors is a known serial killer.
BARNEY KILLER
Sitcom chronicling the daily life of the PBS executive who cancelled the big purple dinosaur.
THE OLD COUPLE
Sitcom about an elderly husband and wife; He's a neatnik, and she's a slob.
AOL IN THE FAMILY
Sitcom that asks: What if Archie Bunker witnessed the beginning of the Internet?
FAMILY LIES
Sitcom about the Trump family as they respond to questions from the "fake news" media.
MY MOTHER THE CAT
A man's deceased mother is reincarnated as a cat. The problem? He's allergic to her!
BARKS AND RECREATION
Sitcom about a professional dog-walker.
SKIN CITY
Sitcom set in a nudist colony.
THIS OLD SOUSE
Do-it-yourself program for people trying to sober up alcoholics.
THE BIGGEST POSER
Sitcom about a professional model who's seven-foot-tall.
WHOSE LANE IS IT ANYWAY?
Reality show where teenagers learn to drive; Obviously, they either get a license or not.
DULL HOUSE
A show about "nothing". Literally. In the premiere episode, they sit and watch paint dry.
FAMILY HATTERS
"Alice In Wonderland" spinoff, introducing the Mad Hatter's relatives. Spoiler alert: They're not all mad!
MONK AND MINDY
Tony Shalhoub's obsessive-compulsive detective moves in with actress/writer Mindy Kaling. Hilarity ensues.
THE DAILY SNOW
Reality show chronicling the day-to-day goings-on at a weather station at the North Pole.
OMG! I am laughing at those. Cranberry, you've outdone yourself once again with the creative challenge. You are going to win!
DeleteAgreed, clotheslover. cranberry has a history of excelling in these periodic NPR "two-week creative challenges." He has a real knack (and also constructs amazing cryptic crosswords and other creative puzzles).
DeleteLegoGreen(Acres)WithEnvy
E.D.: Elderly George Clooney, Juliana Margulies, Noah Wyle, and company, reunite for a Viagra infomercial.
ReplyDeleteThe Good Wire: Rehabilitated drug dealers in Baltimore.
Mr. Roget's Neighborhood: Vicinity, area, development, community, district, quarter, section, precinct, ward, locality, place, region.
Scar Trek: Nip & Tuck bloopers.
Lust in Space: The Playboy Channel presents our favorite moments from the holodeck.
Leave it to Beamer: My Mother, The Car's mischievous son, the BMW.
Let's Fake a Deal: Live coverage of the Trump-Kim summit.
The Dairy Show: Trevor Noah says, Blessed are the Cheesemakers.
Horse: Hugh Laurie graduates from popping Vicodin to shooting heroin.
Downtown Abbey: Just so people can finally get the name right.
Horse of Cards: Mr. Ed leaves the farm, becomes a blackjack dealer in Vegas.
Twin Pesks: Mary Kate and Ashley, as annoying as ever.
M*A*T*H: The proofs behind The Big Bang Theory.
Set and the City: The addictive logic puzzle with cards with various numbers of different colored shapes, urban edition.
Fiends: Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Ross, the undead.
Let's Fake a Deal is a winner.
DeleteHorse of Cards is hilarious!
Deletejan, I vote for Mr. Roget's Neighborhood and M*A*T*H. Both are fabulous.
ReplyDeleteFather Knows Bust. Family man just can't keep his hands off his neighbor's wives. A Weinstein production.
ReplyDeleteDays Of Our Wives. How the spouses of Mormon bigamists spend their free time.
ReplyDeleteDads Of Our Lives. Growing up in a Catholic school for homeless boys. Parental guidance advised.
ReplyDeleteHose Improvement. Struggles in the day to day operation of a local fire department.
ReplyDeleteTHE JOKER'S WIND
ReplyDeleteSitcom that's one long fart joke.
WILL AND GRAVE
Sitcom about funerals?
DOME IMPROVEMENT
Sitcom about a toupee salesman.
WIFE IN PIECES
Magician and mate coping after the "sawing a woman in half" trick goes awry.
NIGHT COUNT
What if the story of Dracula were a sitcom?
THE BIG FANG THEORY
Dracula and Wolfman move in together, but they're both too smart for their own good.
FALLON CREST
Jimmy the talk show host begins a quest to find his family's coat of arms.
SNOTS LANDING
Nighttime soap about a rich family, none of whom can blow their nose properly.
LET'S MAKE A MEAL
What's one more cooking show to the Food Network?
FATHER KNOWS BELT
A strict disciplinarian and his family back in the day.
TOP FEAR
Game show where contestants create new, unheard-of phobias; Winner gets much-needed psychiatric help.
MAN V. HOOD
Each week a stuntman picks a fight with a biker gang, and could get killed!
MOUSE HUNTERS
Each week, two exterminators help a different family whose home is infested with rodents.
Bahahaha!! Those are Excellent!
DeleteTHE GOOD LIFE, weekly drama based on family adventures.
ReplyDeleteTHE TALKING (WALKING) DEAD, weekly zombie police drama.
WHO WANTS TO BE A BILLIONAIRE, game show for the 1%.
IT'S ALWAYS FUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA, sitcom about a gerrymandered congressional district in Pennsylvania.
I forgot:
DeleteFAMILY LIES, a situation comedy based on “family diversity and competitiveness.”
THE BRADY BRUNCH (LUNCH), a family cooking show.
BET SMART, new game show based on betting on answers.
THIS OLD HORSE. Inside the workings of a modern day glue factory.
ReplyDeleteSKY KINK (a.k.a. Sky King)
ReplyDeleteWhat really goes on at night during those long overseas flights.
BLACK UDDER (a.k.a. Black Adder)
ReplyDeleteEwe will never forget how our heroes put the squeeze on this unfortunate disease.
BAKED AND AFRAID
ReplyDeleteReality show about stoners who are always paranoid.
FIBER UPPER
Drama about a pharmaceutical company creating a drug made with bran.(Or a sitcom, perhaps?)
TROTH OR CONSEQUENCES
ReplyDeleteGame show, formerly called "Shotgun Wedding".
SOLID MOLD
ReplyDeleteReality show about food left too long in the refrigerator.
Looks like Wee Willy is going to have his hands full, especially since he always sets himself up as the sole arbiter of things I don't necessarily associate him with (see transcript).
ReplyDeleteHow about "40 Minutes," what you get after ads?
TALES FROM THE DORK SIDE
ReplyDeleteWeekly anthology series featuring stories about nerdy people.
ONE DAB AT A TIME
ReplyDeleteThe unauthorized history of Brylcreem.
Or:
DeleteONE LAY AT A TIME
The Unauthorized Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby Stories.
BEYWATCH
ReplyDeleteEntertainment magazine show solely devoted to news about Beyonce.
SOUL BRAIN
Music trivia game show for R and B lovers.
AMERICA'S GUT TALENT
Talent show where all contestants must be obese and can do unusual things with it.
PRAISE THE LARD
ReplyDeleteSecrets of making the perfect flaky pie crust.
Excellent ideas, everyone! They all should have a chance to win!!
ReplyDeleteMILD KINGDOM
ReplyDeleteMarlin Perkins takes us on a new journey each week observing worms, slugs and such.
WHAT GIRL?
ReplyDeleteThe laughs never end when a magazine writer dates an invisible woman.
SHEERS
The wisecracks fly in this workplace comedy set in a window treatment design house.
AMERICAN HANDSTAND
Moving drama about gymnasts vying for a spot on the U.S. Olympics team.
The Dykes of Hazzard: Lesbian couple risking it all to live in the south.
ReplyDeleteAlf in the Family: Edith and Archie get rid of the adopted niece and take in an illegal alien.
The Twilight Zine: fan program for teenagers. (okay, "Twilight" isn't a TV show. Yet.)
Couth Park: 5 animated boys engage in pleasant conversation and wholesome adventures.
2 Brake Girls: desperately seeking that Midas Touch.
60 Manutes: NBA team tries to monopolize all the 7'-7" South Sudanese players.
Green Aches: Oliver finally learns that farming isn't so easy.
Gilligan's Inland: After rescue from the South Pacific, the castaways find themselves in the cultural desert of San Bernadino.
Leopardy!: Popular quiz show with a feline twist.
Miami Nice: Happy lives of 2 law-abiding police officers who roam the pleasant streets and never drive too fast.
Fission Impossible: (PBS) The economically sound, peaceful and safe use of atomic energy is explored.
Misterpiece Theater: Hosted by Charlie Rose, featuring short acts by Harvey Weinstein, Richard Meier, Scott Wiener, Andy Dick, Paul Rubens, Roy Moore, Steven Seagal, Louis C.K. and many others.
Hippy Days: 10 years later Marion has left Howard and is working for NOW, Richie is still missing, Joanie lives on a commune with her 4 love children, Chachie is still an asshole, Potsie finally lives up to his name, and 2nd Lieutenant Fonzarelli is fragged by his men in Vietnam.
The Hineymooners: Remake of Northern Exposure.
ReplyDeleteVICTORY AT SET
ReplyDeleteWatch as Harvey Weinstein meanders from production to production feeling his way around.
DR. KILDATE
ReplyDeleteWatch as we discover how one promising young doctor spends his free time.
SEE IT NOT
ReplyDeleteFollow Edward R. Murrow through his experience undergoing cataract surgery.
TONIGHT STARRING JACK PAIR
ReplyDeleteIf you thought one of this bore was plenty, wait until you watch them together.
No unused clues in the On Air Challenge. Looks like everyone's having fun with the two week challenge though!
ReplyDeleteYeah, and I'm sure glad we have a full two weeks, because I can't come up with a thing yet. Apparently no one else can either.
DeleteI guess WS interns need to view this blog before choosing a winner who has an original answer. What would you do if you were WS?
ReplyDeleteHe says he reads all of the two week challenges submissions himself. I suspect them mostly come at the beginning.
DeleteAnd Will did say, ahem, three entries per customer. . .
DeleteWANKING TALL
ReplyDeleteSmall town sheriff manages to beat off a bunch of outlaws with a big stick.
And we wouldn't want to overlook:
DeleteWANKER, TEXAS RANGER
It can get a bit lonely out there in all that sagebrush.
BOOTS AND PADDLES
DeleteFort Lowell, Arizona Territory back in the 1870s could be a lonely place come evening.
THE PUNSTERS
ReplyDeletePretty much describes everyone on this week's blog!
GLOWING PAINS
Reality show chronicling the daily goings-on at a hospital next to a nuclear power plant.
MIAMI VINE
The only six-second crime drama on TV.
CHEEKS
Everyone at the bar is wearing a thong, even Norm(ugh)!
And while we're on the subject...
STRANGER THONGS
How could beachwear get any more bizarre-looking? Tune in to find out!
SQUARE PUGS
Sitcom proving sometimes popularity can be hard to achieve at the dog park.
LOUSE OF CARDS
The world's greatest cheater at poker reveals his absolute worst tricks for winning underhandedly.
THE BONE RANGER
Drama set in an archaeological museum guarded by our hero and his dinosaur companion, Bronto.
DICK DYNASTY
Insert any joke about Harvey Weinstein, Roy Moore, Louis C. K., et al here.
Come to think of it, "insert" is probably a bad choice of words in this case.
THE LINDY PROJECT
A 12-part documentary on PBS covering the life of aviator Charles Lindbergh.
SEX HUNT
Yep, Weinstein et al here too!
THE GULDEN GIRLS
ReplyDeleteSitcom with four different women united to discover they're heiresses to a huge mustard empire.
SOUTH PORK
ReplyDeleteDocumentary on dishonest governmental activity below the Mason-Dixon line.
WILY KINGDOM
ReplyDeleteDrama proving if you're a member of a royal family, trust no one.
WOOD TIMES
Documentary involving interviews with men who still remember the first time their Viagra kicked in.
LITTLE HORSE ON THE PRAIRIE
ReplyDeleteLaura Ingalls Wilder's lesser-known saga of homesteaders who bred Shetland ponies.
Curious, last night after midnight someone posted an oddly worded statement that included a link to a site that ostensibly would clean up your computer.
ReplyDeleteI replied this morning that this might be our first scammer, and that I wouldn't click on the link. My message posted, and then mysteriously disappeared a few minutes later, along with the original - and the comment count went from 81 to 79.
I hope there isn't a snark filter, as that would eliminate the Bonus Puzzles (crowd cheers), messages from STRAP (joyous celebrations across the land), and punning competitions between me and SDB (ticker tape parade on 5th Avenue, National Holiday declared!).
It was me. As soon as I saw your reply to that SPAM/Scam post, I permanently deleted it which clobbered your reply.
DeleteI saw it last night too.
DeleteAlso it is not our first spam. I have reported spam to Blaine at least twice in the past.
What do you mean by "punning competitions between me and SDB)? There is no competition.
Thanks Blaine, I didn't know you could permanently delete without the "removed by blog administrator" note. That's well and good.
DeleteSDB: If you keep trying really hard maybe someday you can offer some competition. I don't have a lot of faith in that, but there is always a faint glimmer of hope.
eco:
DeleteI hope you won't let a glimmer cause you to faint. We wouldn't want you to suffer from self induced punishment. Oh, and if you really thought I was "trying," well we are all free to think as we please.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Delete
DeleteHey, eco and sdb, it’s not a two person pun competition, either...
Yes, the power to permanently obliterate comments is a blog owner’s "dream." I rarely use it though over at Partial Ellipsis of the Sun. Spam(a lot) is the main reason.
Something is off with my links lately. . .and not on a golf course.
WW, perhaps you need a consultation with Art Linkletter, or his brother Art Linkpost?
DeleteAlso, you don't seem to make as many really annoying puns, in my opinion. SDB is the Scatman Druthers of punning. In fact, when he made a discovery in the bathtub he shouted "Urethra!"
eco, I can try to be more annoying--right away--er, SCAT!
DeleteWhat will the other pundits here say (in Morse Code)?
http://kat330.tumblr.com/post/174549702904/will-shortz-women-still
ReplyDeleteNever send in entries, but am occasionally inspired by creative challenges involving wordplay. Enjoy! ☼
Hmmmm. My first search on "creative challenge" on this site brings up this entry:
Delete"The winner:
What is the difference between a priest and his dog? One wears pants and a collar while the other wears a collar and pants.
— Roxanne Abrams, Skokie, Ill."
Here is the full link:
https://puzzles.blainesville.com/2016/11/npr-sunday-puzzle-nov-20-2016-creative.html?m=1
Wish you’d made that a clickable link! Particularly loved how you incorporated further shows into the descriptions. Faves: The Big Bong Theory: Roommates dropped in the wilderness are forced to survive while freaking bad, baked and afraid. And Burn Novice: Miami set spinoff of Torched by an Angel. Don’t think Will would read them on air anyway. :)
DeleteKathleen, read ’em and laughed!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteTo Philo and Jaxon, thanks for reading my dozen or so ideas! ☼ Somewhere in the back pages are my other posts from creative challenges past.
DeleteTo Word Woman: Thanks for the link. In 30 years as a puzzle listener, I have very rarely missed an airing. Since my husband has listened along with me the past 20, we've missed it maybe a handful of times, and Roxanne must have been one of those. I'm greatly pleased to hear a female was finally selected by Shortz as a subjective challenge winner, but this only changes my blog statement from "never" to "almost never" and is still a wildly sexist skew for male entries, even for being a submission that is just read on air.
DeleteOver six years ago, I cc:d Shortz on an email exchange with Julianne Smolinski about a grave lack of gender parity among his non-random winners, and he responded directly to me. My mail mentioned how someone on a public forum reported that submissions Shortz reads and selects from for creative challenges are mainly puzzlers he knows, names familiar in his inner circle. After having this public and private discussion back then and again here, I can only hope he is being more mindful of what women bring to the puzzle table. We'll see [again] on the 17th. ☼
To Kathleen,
DeleteI did also enjoy your ideas on Tumblr (and your original post where I became Wonder Woman :-)).
There’s at least one more creative challenge winner by a woman from October 15, 2015:
A: The winning sentence chosen by Will, "Can neurosurgeon Ben Carson pin down Republican nomination in 'Sixteen?" — Kate S. of Maryland
Here is the link:
https://puzzles.blainesville.com/2015/10/npr-sunday-puzzle-oct-11-2015-creative.html
I do agree women are underrepresented, though, but not by as wide a margin.
My biggest concern about Will and women in his puzzles is his tendency to pick women actresses, rather than all the other professions. Yes, there have been women from other professions in his puzzles (notably Beatrix Potter and Golda Meir, among others) but the fact that they are so memorable is telling.
I also am annoyed when Will points out that the answer is female and “not an actress” (as with Suze Orman or Edith Wharton).
I do wonder about the percentage of male vs. female entrants. There are certainly more men represented here at Blaine’s.
Like you, I hope to see more women represented in the creative challenges and in non-actress puzzle offerings. When one of us wins this week’s creative challenge, we can celebrate here!
In addition to the unfortunate gender stereotyping (which for many professions is based on historic patterns but slowly changing), I found Kathleen's comment "submissions Shortz reads and selects from for creative challenges are mainly puzzlers he knows, names familiar in his inner circle" to also be disturbing, and I hope that's just a misunderstanding.
DeleteI have no big problem with him going to his "usual suspects" as sources for coming up with new weekly challenges, we all rely on certain folks for things, and Merle Reagle and our own Patrick J Berry and Mighty Joe Young are contributors. Seems different for selecting a winner to the challenge, that should be done randomly - architectural competitions require that there is no indication of the entrant's name on any of the reviewed materials. No doubt some judges can recognize a style, but at least there's anonymity.
Kathleen, I also compliment you on your excellent creations, especially how you cross-link several TV shows.
Now, don't we all feel guilty about how much TV we've watched? I suppose this is somewhat ameliorated by the enthusiasm for Wo(nde)r[d] Woman's novel challenge from last September.
I should have written that selections for creative puzzles should be done anonymously, not randomly. But you knew that.
DeleteTo Wonder Word Woman (mind's still sharp if eyesight is not ;): For myself, not hearing a woman's name chosen by Shortz in, say, 50-60 creative challenges over the decades has the effect of not bothering to submit. (I don't play the lottery either.) Could explain fewer submissions from other women as well. Bias anywhere in society leads to a self-sustaining loop further feeding the bias. Also, maybe more nuanced or multilayered humor is lost on Shortz. But that's quite enough of my Willful opinion here. Shoot me a gmail—kat330—if anyone cares to discuss further. Thanks for the read! ☼
DeleteTo ecoarchitect: Thanks for the nod! As I just wrote to Word Woman, I should probably curtail the public Willful opinions. His email response 6+ years ago said his staff brings him a short list of entries, so maybe other roots for lack of parity? Who knows.
DeleteThe Big Bung Theory - Sitcom with coopers
ReplyDeleteBig Brothel - Reality show set in a cathouse
In Living Colon - Cartoon featuring a probiotic named SludgeBob Square Turd.
ORANGE IS THE NEW BLANK
ReplyDeletePrison drama starring former Match Game regulars.
THE BIG BAND THEORY
Guy Lombardo tells Count Basie, "You're in my spot."
THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERB
Tommy Chong narrates this 12-part PBS documentary on the history of marijuana.
CPA SHARKEY
Don Rickles as a loudmouthed bean-counter.
WELCOME BACK, POTTER
Harry resurfaces at Hogwarts as teacher to a whole new generation of would-be magicians.
DUNK DYNASTY
Drama about a rich family of basketball players.
HAPPY DADS
12-part PBS documentary on Father's Day.
PUCK DYNASTY
Drama about a rich family of hockey players.
LAMA UNTO MY FEET
Religious program hosted by a Tibetan priest.
LEAVE IT TO BEAKER
Muppet spinoff starring Dr. Bunsen Honeydew's assistant as the sole heir in the doctor's will.
BLUE BLONDS
David Spade and Amy Poehler star in an all-fair-haired version of "This Is Us".
DAD MEN
Another 12-part PBS documentary on Father's Day.
MAD MEL
The unauthorized biography of Mel Gibson.
MAD MON
Drama about a Jamaican advertising agency.
MOSH
Seriocomic look back at doctors specializing in treating injured audience members at 1990s rock concerts.
WIDE WORLD OF SHORTS
12-part PBS documentary on the history of undergarments.
PIG BROTHER
ReplyDeleteSitcom about a very confused boy brought up on a farm.
Lol
DeleteTHE HOLLYWOOD SQUIRES
ReplyDeleteSitcom prequel to the film "The Hollywood Knights".
SKA KING
ReplyDeleteDrama about a Jamaican dance music pioneer.
THE WALKING DEAF
ReplyDeletePost-apocalyptic drama in which the survivors are unable to hear the zombies coming.
SATURDAY NIGHT LIKE
ReplyDeleteNot the actual sketch show, but an incredible simulation.
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ATE?
ReplyDeleteGuessing game for cannibals.
I am laughing so hard I am crying. These have got to be way better than anything sent in to NPR!
ReplyDeleteI have already sent in a few earlier, but I found it tough to narrow them down to the three best. So I just listed a lot of them, and told Will to pick the three he liked. I hope he does, or at least maybe I'll get honorable mention. I will say most of us here on the blog have really gone above and beyond the call of duty with this one. This has been way more fun than if it were any other week of just trying to get the one answer. Sadly, some of the funniest ideas here may never see the light of day on NPR. I know the ones referencing Harvey Weinstein probably won't make it. You've got to be more "family-friendly" for Sunday morning, but that goes without saying.
ReplyDeleteGROPING PAINS
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of another Weinstein joke...
AMERICA'S NEXT TOT MODEL
ReplyDelete"Toddlers and Tiaras" reboot.
THE WOOD DOCTOR
Medical drama about a physician who helps men when it's gone past 4-6 hours.
AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MOTEL
Reality show in which the best location for a one-night stand is chosen.
AMERICA'S NEXT TOP YODEL
ReplyDeleteSinging competition set in the Alps.
CASH CAN
ReplyDeleteQuiz show set in a public restroom.
CASH GAB
Financial news program.
GOOD TILES
Coverage of the National Scrabble Tournament.
GOOD TOMES
Formerly "Book Beat".
MAUVE
ReplyDeleteSitcom about an interior decorator who insists on having everything be a pale purple color.
SILVER SPOOKS
ReplyDeleteGhosts of deceased Olympic athletes who only took second place haunt an ex-Olympic judge's home.
SHARP TANK
"Pimp My Ride" with military vehicles.
AMERICA'S NEXT TOY MODEL
Reality show co-sponsored by Fisher-Price and Hasbro.
THE DAILY CHOW
Reality show taking place at an army mess hall.
DIFF'RENT STRIKES
12-part PBS documentary covering the complete history of union disputes between workers and management.
BRACK-ISH
Update on the water situation in Flint, Michigan.
DIFF'RENT STROBES
Travelogue of various discotheques around the world.
THE FACTS OF FIFE
10 things you didn't know about Andy's deputy, Barney.
GONER PYLE USMC
Mayberry's favorite Marine suffers from a fatal disease in this comedy-drama reboot.
ALI IN THE FAMILY
Archie Bunker finds out he's second cousin to the greatest black boxer of all time.
WHAM'S HAPPENING!
Made-for-TV biopic depicting the first time George Michael met Andrew Ridgely.
GIMME A FREAK!
"Dating Game"-style game show in which a contestant must choose between three different sideshow characters.
THE GONE SHOW
A program so bad it gets cancelled before the first episode is through.
THE BONG SHOW
Talent show in which all participants are stoners. It comes on every day at 4:20.
THE GONG SCOW
Chuck Barris hosts a talent show aboard a garbage-transporting vessel, gets stuck in Parrish, AL.
(I know, it was a train, not a scow. Funnier my way.)
THE PRICE IS SIGHT
Game show in which contestants can win big by surviving staring at a solar eclipse.
THE PRIDE IS RIGHT
Fox News panel show in which all the panelists are ultraconservative lions.
FUNSMOKE
An all-stoner western.
MY THREE TONS
"The Biggest Loser" reboot for REALLY overweight BEWATCHED
Reality show about paranoid people who've learned to accept it.
Cranbury,
DeleteI hope you are sending all your creations in. You will be sure to win. And remember, three (3) is just a relative number.
Cranberry, Avoiding something?
Delete"People" was the last word of the MY THREE TONS pitch.
ReplyDeleteCONDOM (a.k.a. Condor)
ReplyDeleteIt's a bit of a stretch, but everything works out well in the end.
RATTLEBOTS
ReplyDelete"Westworld" with an entire cast of babies.
CATTLEBOTS
"Westworld" if it took place on a ranch.
BRAGNET
Crime drama that asks, "What if President Trump got arrested just by opening his mouth?"
FUNKY BREWSTER
ReplyDeleteSitcom about a little orphan girl who never bathes.
WANDER WOMAN
Story of a superhero who's perpetually lost.
SWAMP THONG
Sitcom about a sunbather with terminal diarrhea.
(That last one won't make it, obviously.)
ReplyDeleteI don't know about that. I think it's just a new twist on String Theory.
DeleteSANFORD AND SOT
ReplyDeleteWoody's excessive drinking gets him thrown out by Esther, so he moves in with Fred.
Thinking of today in history, I still don't know where people get the courage, no matter whether it's in times past or present.
ReplyDelete(Meghan Markle reference)
ReplyDeleteQUITS(not SUITS)
Drama going off the air after one lead actor left for a much better life.
CHICK AND THE MAN
Made-for-TV biopic about Stan Musial and his significant other.
THE AMAZING RACK
Unauthorized biography of Dolly Parton.
WHOSE WINE IS IT ANYWAY?
Guessing game co-hosted by Kathie Lee and Hoda. Originally called "WHAT'S MY WINE?".
SEA RUNT
Lloyd Bridges goes in search of the smallest examples of marine life imaginable.
MacMILLAN AND FIFE
Rock Hudson and Don Knotts team up to fight crime.
MOONSIGHTING
Another reboot of "Northern Exposure".
YOU BET YOUR WIFE
"The Newlywed Game", Las Vegas-style.
BANGIN' WITH MR. COOPER
"The Big Bang Theory" spinoff focusing solely on Sheldon and Amy's "coitus" life.
THE HOOD WIFE
ReplyDeleteDrama starring Julianna Margulies as Al Capone's significant other.
STARSKY AND HUNCH
Quasimodo in his first crime drama ever.
Looks like cranberry is going to use all the possibilities before next Thursday.
ReplyDeleteIf he or someone else hasn't gotten to it:
WANTED DEAD OR ALEVE
The wild west adventures of a bounty hunter with chronic pain (and looking for a sponsor).
To Mendo Jim: I think many of us have and will come up with identical titles on our own. I've certainly seen several here that I'd thought of, too. But then it's the nuanced differences in how the pitch for the title is written, nessy paw? ☼
ReplyDeleteIndeed, I believe it will be the originality and appeal of the pitch rationales that will make or break the entry.
DeleteTo Jaxon: Was pleased to be proved wrong and it was a woman to win this creative challenge, but quite perturbed you / we were proved wrong about the pitch being the make or break decider. Didn't even air White's 15-wd or less pitch! Very, very disappointing selection.
DeleteMy scant offerings pale compared to others, some rejects:
ReplyDeleteWide World of Spores: Hosted by Jim McGrain; The thrill of allergy, and the adenoids of alete.
The Uncouchables: They work for bunk-o, chaise bed guys, and won't sit for anything!
The Untorchables: They work asbestos they can.
Gossip Gill: Jack grunts and carps while his morays flounder; Dory is koi and perches with herring.
The Streeps of San Francisco: Follow the rising and falling path of a Hollywood star in a strange city.
That 70's Chow: The laughter isn't the only thing that's canned!
Lancing with the Stars: Tensions flare and boils ooze in this Sirius drama that pinpoint solo e-clips.
Desperate House Wines: Hoping to be uncorked!
Lost in Spice: Sage Poppy, card-a-Mom, their chiles Dill, Ginger, and Fenny, Marjor-don and the root-bot travel through thyme and parsley populated plant-its.
Pharmed: Documentary on the witchcraft found in the drug industry.
Cash Bridges: Re-runs will take their toll!
Good Timex: The show you must watch!
Dive's World: It's plane to see the sky's the limit in this rip-cordingly funny pilot project.
America's God Talent: Mega-churches' spectacle will have you singing Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition!
I think you may be much better than I am in the "pitch" department, eco!
DeleteBURT NOTICE
Interviews with women fondly recalling a certain well-known actor's nude centerfold in Cosmopolitan in 1972.
Cran, you keep coming up with an incredible array of shows, many I haven't thought about for a long time. I hope you're using a list and not doing this from memory, or binge watching. To riff on your latest:
DeleteBurn Novice: Naive arsonist hasn't met his match!
Here's some poetry you didn't learn in kindergarten (a la Twinkle Twinkle Little Star):
ReplyDeleteLockdown, Lockdown, Lock the door
Shut the lights off, Say no more
Go behind the desk and hide
Wait until it's safe inside.
Lockdown, Lockdown, it's all done
Now it's time to have some fun!
Maybe the next creative challenge should be rewording nursery rhymes for current life.
“DEWITCHED” (A pitch to Fox Friends) Trump hosts allies and cronies on why Robert Mueller should be burned at the stake! (Bewitched)
ReplyDelete“BAD MEN” (A pitch to NPR,PBS, CBS, NBC, ABC, )Nightly series on why U.S. Citizens should be worried about Corruption and Malfeasance! (Mad men)
“SPIN & PARTY” (reference to Spin and Marty) Scott Pruitt and Ryan Zynke explain how they defraud American Taxpayers Daily! (Spin and Marty is a popular series of television shorts that aired as part of The Mickey Mouse Club show of the mid-1950s, produced by Walt Disney)
I am aware that none of these will ever be permitted to air, however I want to share with you a bit of humor. Humor is the best medicine!
How about:
DeleteTHE MICKEY MOUSE CHUB
Former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie becomes a Disney World representative.
To Wordnerd: Yes, I know my better ideas are usually unlikely ever to be aired adding yet another reason for not submitting. But, ha, quite enjoy "Spin and Party"! Hadn't thought of that Sat. morning "must-see tv" program in many a moon. Thanks! ☼
DeleteSpeaking of Chris Christie, New Jersey held its primary elections this week. Lots of excitement in my district for Mikie Sherrill, a former Navy helicopter pilot and federal prosecutor, who won the Democratic race to run for the seat of retiring long-term congressman and NJ scion, Rodney "Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish" Frelinghuysen.
ReplyDeleteBut Democrats should be worried about the Senate seat of Bob Menendez, sleazeball incumbent looking for a third term. In his primary, a completely unknown challenger who spent practically no money and had no real organization took nearly 40% of the vote. He faces a tough fight in November against Bob Hugin, a former Marine officer and CEO of Celgene. Losing that seat would be tough for Democrats.
In other news, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain and my late cousin Paul got me thinking about Richard Corey. Which, to get back to politics and this week's puzzle, is just one letter away from <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Codey>Richard Codey</a>, who was (briefly, twice) the best Governor NJ never elected (and, the cousin of my town's Borough Administrator). (At least, they would have been just one letter apart if Edwin Arlington Robinson and Simon & Garfunkle had remembered the "e" in "Cory".)
We all make spelling mistakes. I've even known people who spell Garfunkel with an "le".
DeleteMea culpa. Anyway, my question for any Democratic operatives out there: Why wasn't more pressure put on Bob Menendez, over the past 5 months, to resign, so newly-elected Governor Phil Murphy could name a replacement who might have a better shot at holding on to that seat in November?
DeleteIn spite of my snark I agree with your larger point. As it stands NJ voters will have a choice between holding their nose and electing a very flawed individual or potentially enabling a globally destructive party. I hope a temporary lack of smell facilitates better vision.
DeleteI suppose Menendez could still bow out if the polls start running strongly against him (as Frelinghuysen did), though it would've been seemlier to do so earlier.
DeleteThe other day a nephew of mine was driving his car to work, on a street that parallels a near by golf course, when all of a sudden a golf ball hit his rear window. Almost the entire window was blown out. He was shaken up from the noise and flying glass but was not hurt. He complained to the golf course and they said they would pay for it.
ReplyDeleteWhen pressed for the name of the person who hit the ball, all they would say was that it was some guy named Chip.
I assume this is supposed to be a joke, and if it is, I think it's a chip shot.
DeleteIt really did happen except for old Chip! With the window busted out he cannot drive the car, legally, until it is fixed. The window won't arrive for five more days. We are wondering if he might get reimbursed for a rental car.
DeleteYou should report it to your insurance company, (nephew's) and they will tell you about a rental. They will also pursue the culprit. I don't see why he can't drive the car with a window broken out though, especially if he tapes plastic over it. I remember decades ago someone I know was driving an old wreck with the windshield missing. He was stopped by the cops, but he knew the law and did not get a ticket. It was not illegal to not have a windshield, but his wipers had to work, and they did work as he demonstrated for them.
DeleteThey're always comparing hailstones to golf balls. They'll do the job, too.
DeleteWow, that damage to the plane is significant. I was surprised that they have less overall weather information in the cockpit than you’d have on the internet.
DeleteYou have to be ever vigilant.
DeleteThat's just an obvious Onion joke, but there is a real danger in skydiving through clouds, which is forbidden by the FAA, as you know. I watched as a skydiver chose to ignore this rule and barely survived with serious injuries after his canopy was extensively eaten by cloud worms. He knew better too.
DeleteI'll pass the info on, I bet though, he has looked into contacting his insurance company.
DeleteSure stinks, all the trouble you have to go through because of an errant golf ball. Thanks for the tips!
SDB - I never thought about skydiving through clouds, that just sounds like a dumb idea!
It's amazing as you freefall through the bottom and watching the world come back into view and life.
DeleteI wonder how amazing it is when you emerge from the bottom too close to the ground?
DeleteI remember a flight from Chicago to St Louis where the pilot weaved the way through very tall and heavy cumulonimbus clouds. It was beautiful, surreal and very disturbing, the view was like being in a formidable roiling cavern with occasional shafts of light peeking through.
On the other hand, how do we know Lauren Bacall was a terrible golfer?
She always got a Bogie. Or Bogey. Or Boogie.
Two Bloke Girls – Sitcom that includes transgender persons among the staff and customers of a British pub
ReplyDeleteTHE MOP SQUAD
ReplyDeleteDrama about the janitorial staff at a police station.
THE MOD SQUID
Previously unaired late-60s Jacques Cousteau special about a rare form of psychedelic marine life.
RASH
Seriocomic show chronicling the day-to-day lives of 1950s doctors who only treat prickly heat.
ONE NAY AT A TIME
Sitcom about a small group of very pessimistic members of the U.S. Congress.
CROWING PAINS
Sitcom set on a farm with a rooster who's getting old.
PLEASE DON'T EAT THE DAILIES
"Behind-the-scenes" Sesame Street episode in which Cookie Monster's intense hunger stalls plans for a movie.