## Sunday, November 13, 2016

### NPR Sunday Puzzle (Nov 13, 2016): Creative Challenge - Beat the Rap vs. Wrap the Beet

NPR Sunday Puzzle (Nov 13, 2016): Creative Challenge - Beat the Rap vs. Wrap the Beet:
Q: This is a two-week creative challenge. The object is to write a conundrum or riddle that starts "What is the difference between ..." — in which the answer involves a transposition of words.

For example: What is the difference between a chatterbox and a mirror? Answer: One speaks without reflecting while the other reflects without speaking. Or: What is the difference between a lucky criminal and some Saran with a garden vegetable? Answer: One beats the rap while the other wraps the beet.

Change of spelling in the words is allowed, but not necessary. Entries will be judged on their sense, naturalness of wording, humor, elegance and overall effect. You may submit up to three entries. Mr. Shortz will announce his favorites — and the overall winner — in two weeks.
Hmm... not much to comment on this week. Obviously this is different than most of Will's puzzles in that it is open-ended and is a two week challenge. Start collecting your ideas and we'll discuss them all in two weeks after the deadline.

1. Again, this is a TWO week challenge. Don't post any outright spoilers unless you want to give away your submission. If you have a good riddle, click on the NPR link in the post and then remember it so we can talk about it after the deadline.

2. What's the difference between a brief bequest and a puzzle master?

1. I actually like this one. :)

2. One is short wills and the other Will Shortz.

I like it, too.

3. I think Jan was going for a "Shorts Will" and then "Will Shortz".

4. Of course.

Meet you all rearward at the Wednesday restaurant in 2 weeks.

5. How is this a puzzle?
Will takes the week off and ends up owning the submissions (which he can and has used for his own reward.)

6. Probably true, MJ

3. What's the difference between this group and the crème de la crème? (Not to imply the this group isn't the crème de la crème!)

What's the difference between a tractor and a break-up letter?

What the difference between a Tampa ballpark and a cattle ranch?

4. 2) One is a John Deere, the other a Dear John.

1. Yes.

1) One milks the puns, the other's 'pon the milk.

2. Oh, dairy us.

3. I thought it was 'bunch of the best' and 'best of the bunch'.

4. And, 3) One is where you meet Rays, the other's where you raise meat.

5. What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump?

1. One was a Razorback and the other needs a back razor.

2. One advocated the power of love, the other advocated the love of power?

3. Which was witch?

4. One wants to erase the divide, the other wants to divide the races?

5. One failed to inspire a voting bloc, the other wants to block voting?

6. One lies like a rug, the other has a rug that lies (and, lies also).

7. Siz- That's actually the answer I was thinking of.

8. Huh, I've never heard that phrase before! Always nice to learn something new.

6. What's the difference between a library card and a late return?

7. There is a discrepancy between the NPR Sunday Puzzle website and what was said on the air. The website says the deadline is Thursday, Nov. 17, at 3 p.m. ET (even though it also says this is a two-week challenge). The audio says the deadline is Wednesday, Nov. 23.

Since this is a creative challenge, with no "right" answer, I don't see why we need to wait two weeks to discuss our ideas, as long as we can trust our fellow Blainsvillagers not to steal them.

1. It looks like Willy was not quite sure when Thanksgiving is.

8. Plagiarism does not become us

9. What's the difference between Reagan's campaign slogan and this year's election outcome?

1. Does it have anything to do with a University?

2. The mourning is more than in America

3. The Nihilist Party's slogan in 1984: "It's midnight in America. Get down and stay down."

4. One is morning again in America, and the other is America again in mourning.

10. What's the difference between a steak tenderizer and the longest-running TV program in history? (Hint: the first name of the current TV show's host is also a synonym for a cut of steak.)

1. One is press the meat, the other is Meet the Press.

11. There he goes again/again there's egos

1. What's the difference between a Reagan comeback and a common trait of Presidential candidates?

12. I have already made up some I think are good, but I am not sure I want to submit them. One I came up with I know would never make it on the air anyway:

What is the difference between the ocean tides and a porn star on his way to work?

1. Call an expert if it takes more than four hours?

2. One comes and goes and the other goes and comes.

3. Tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can't explain that.

4. I'll group this in the "NSFW" category: What's the difference between weatherproofing and a strip club?

5. One is a joint flashing, and the other is a flashing joint.

6. Another NSFW: What's the difference between a recliner brand and getting lucky in Idaho's capital? One is a La-Z-Boy, the other is a Boise lay.

7. What's the difference between a plumber and a pisser? One snakes the drain while the other drains the snake.

13. What's the difference between a hardcore football fan and a podiatrist?

1. One is a tailgater; the other a gait tailor.

14. I see Trump's ties to Putin are already having an effect, as this week's challenge was clearly influenced by Yakov Smirnoff. What a country!

15. What's the difference between broccoli and the U.S. mint?

1. Your question makes no scents to me.

2. I was not able to get an endorsement from H.W. on this one.

3. One is green produce and the other produces green.

16. What's the difference between an Obama campaign promise and a television remote?

1. You at least have a chance of seeing your remote again.

2. Well, if old batteries are involved: Hope and Change and Change and Hope.

3. Speaking of batteries, what's the difference between a store that peddles clothing and sundries and something cylindrical purchased at a hardware store?

4. One sells dry goods...

5. One tries to channel the change, the other tries to change the channel.

17. Alleged cheating by the home team in America's Cup yacht racing once led to the claim that "Britannia rules the waves, but America waives the rules.”

18. What's the difference between Trump and an Austrian composer's daughter?

1. One's Haydn's daughter, the other's daughter's hidin'?

2. I like that better than what I had: "One's a lady mauler, the other's a Mahler lady."

19. I predict patjberry will submit an answer that will be one of Will's favorites, and perhaps even the overall winner. He is very good at these creative challenges.

I also predict we will be posting scads of these entertaining reflexive riddles as Ripping Off Shortz Slices on Puzzleria during the next few weeks (we upload new puzzles every Friday).

I agree with jan that we can trust our fellow Blainesvillians not to plagiarize. During the most recent creative challenge (forming ten-word sentences using words that begin with ten consecutive letters of the alphabet, if I recall correctly) we were posting our answers on this blog willy-nilly.

Here is my feeble effort (that no one would want to plagiarize anyway!) thus far. It has an easy answer:

What's the difference between Ted Bundy and Ricin Crispies?

LegoSaysTheDifferenceBetweenMeanJoeGreeneAndTheKidHeThrowsHisJerseyToIsThatOneIsASteelerSeenInATelevisionCommercialAndTheOtherIsASceneStealerInATelevisionCommercial

1. One's a serial killer...

2. When reached for comment, Bundy reportedly said: "Hey, no sense crying over spilled milk. Milk, blood, who can tell the difference anymore. I know I sure can't while doing the thing that makes me feel like God. The point is, I've killed a bunch of people and we can either cry about it or accept what's happened and move on." He then requested Rice Krispies as his last meal, but was served ricin instead. Said one prison official, "Who can tell the difference anymore?" Reports are mixed as to whether the official winked after saying this.

3. Don't forget Bundy was executed in the electric chair and most likely went Snap, Crackle and Pop, but without the milk.

20. What’s the difference between a stray dog on a hot day and the Levi Strauss Company?

1. One pants unleashed the other unleashed pants? Close?

2. Not close.

21. What's the difference between a nearby valley and an American actress?
What's the difference between the color of a truck and an English comedic actor?

1. All I can think of is the American ACTOR, Glenn Fjord and Housemover red.

2. One a close glen...

3. I don't know the other one, but it makes me wonder why "Peterbilt lorry" hasn't been the answer to an NPR Sunday puzzle before.

4. Hint: The English comedic actor is perhaps best known for playing an American in the lead of a popular television drama of the last decade.

5. Doh! I thought he was Australian, for some reason. I always confuse the color with a Vietnamese provincial capital.

6. One is Hugh Laurie, the other is a lorry hue.

22. What's the difference between a prepaid mobile device and Samsung's Galaxy Note 7?

1. I don't know, but I know what you do when you dial 1-800-555-SHOE.

2. One is a burner phone, the other is a phone burner.

23. What's the difference between these and Spoonerisms?

1. In spoonerisms, the initial phonemes are transposed, i.e., "the queer old dean" for "the dear old queen". Here, we're transposing whole words.

2. Spoonerisms are the switching of sounds. WS does not fully understand Spoonerisms, but incorrectly defines them when he asks for them.

3. Is there a term for the wordplay asked for here?

4. Yes, but it can't be used on the air.

5. If MJ has actually composed an entry for this, and we all took him seriously by accident, I will be very impressed. I'll call it "the old switcheroo", which also isn't a bad name for the wordplay being asked for here.

6. One has two "E"s and the other one ain't too easy.

24. What's the difference between a Green Bay fan and a meat jelly?

1. To make one, you need a Lambo Field, the other a field o' lamb. Or, just a good head for cheese.

2. I think there are aspics of this one you haven't considered, Siz.

1. Good Broadcast. I am submitting as one of my entries: What is the difference between the presidential national vote and one candidate's high-pitched ironic snort?

2. It is a favorite of mine too, and I was just thinking about what they will be saying this evening when I listen to it. Oh, and is Bob Garfield a cat?

3. I thought it was rather disappointing this evening. I expected a much stronger program tonight.

25. What's the difference between a diner asking for the check and Congress postponing a motion?

1. For one they bill the table, for the other they table the bill.

26. Rather than offer any proposed answers, let me pose an antique riddle that relates to this challenge: "My first means company, my second shuns company, while my third attracts company. What am I?" Don't be shy in offering up answers. Word Woman, of course, has already gotten it.

1. I thought I was dumb before I knew the answer, but now I must be really dumb because I looked up the answer and still don't get it.

2. Co-nun-drum. Another old one: What's the difference between a teacher and an engineer? One trains minds the other minds trains.

3. Henry Willis: There is a fourth part to your challenge.

4. Tell me: what is it?

5. "And my whole amuses company."

27. What's the difference between the actor who played Sam Malone and what this bear is doing?
What's the difference between the actress who played Diane Chambers and "Frankenstein"?
What's the difference between the actor who played Niles and Michelangelo's chiseling?
What's the difference between the actress who played Daphne and what Ted Turner did in 2001?

1. Nice package, PlannedChaos: two actors in a successful sitcom and two actors in its successful spin-off.

So far, I have only come up with one "switcheroodle" that I consider Will-worthy. I posted it Sunday in Puzzleria!'s comments section. I love this creative challenge, but I suspect it will be difficult to conjure up a trio of unique switcheroodle submissions.

LegoAlsoSuspectsHoweverThatThereMayBeSomethingNewAboveTheSun

2. One is Ted Danson, and the other is a dancin' ted.
One is Shelley Long, and the other is a long Shelley.
One is David Hyde Pierce, and the other had to pierce David's hide.
One is Jane Leeves, and the other one leaves Jane.

28. What’s the difference between a worker who cleans the outside glass on high rise buildings and the door on a machine used to launder clothing?

Answer: One is a window washer and the other is a washer window.

29. What’s the difference between a rich industrialist and climate change?

Answer: One is a man of action and the other is an action of man.

1. Sorry, as we all know by now, the latter is a conspiracy perpetrated by the Chinese to hurt our economy. Truth is now based on number of votes. Wait, he didn't get that, either. What I meant to say is, Truth is now based on the electoral college. Yeah, that makes sense.

2. Oh, yeah, I knew that.

30. What is the difference between the victor and a bad TV or film actor?
...a mother and someone who treats Dwayne Johnson like a child?
...the winner in a marathon and a closed circuit camera at the office during lunchtime?
...a schoolteacher making sure everyone is present and someone teasing a Sesame Street character?
...a breakup and a butcher shop activity?
...an embezzling accountant and the person in charge of getting Giada de Laurentiis and Mario Batali on Jimmy Fallon's show?

1. One, two, three, four, five puzzles from PJB! Ah-ha-ha!

2. Six! Ah-ha-ha!

3. 1. One takes the spoils, the other spoils the take.
2. One rocks the baby, the other babies The Rock.
3. One breaks the tape, the other tapes the break.
4. One counts the kids, the other kids the Count.
5. One is a parting of the ways, the other is a weighing of the parts.
6. One cooks the books, the other books the cooks.

4. I believe it was Nixon who said, "I am not a cook." He was actually telling the truth that time.

31. What’s the difference between a luxury ocean vacation and a gigolo who frequents Mardi Gras festivals?

Answer: One is Carnival Cruises and the other cruises carnivals.

1. Hey, I thought of that one, too! You managed to package it, though. I abandoned it in the idea phase. Got stuck trying to tie it into Tom Cruise.

2. I think of all the ones I have posted so far that is the only one I did not come up with while still in bed this morning. I just now thought of it. They really are easy to come up with.

What's the difference between Little House on the Prairie and an old cowboy song?

Answer: One is Home On The Range and the home has a range.

32. What’s the difference between a martyr who stood up to King Henry the Eighth and a flavor enhancer used by cannibals?

Answer: One is A Man For All Seasons and the other is a seasoning for all men.

1. One cannibal says to the other, "I tell you what, my mother-in-law is giving me problems. She's real tough, you know?" And the other guy says, "Quit complaining, just eat the noodles."

2. Well then what's the difference between a small rental in the back yard and a relative buried in the back yard?

Answer: One is a Mother in Law and the other is a Mother in Lawn.

3. I thought you were after Granny Flat and Flat Granny.

33. What's the difference between a flag pole salute and a recent divorcée? One's at half mast, the other's amassed half.

1. Wait just a darn minute. Why does a flag pole salute have to be at half mast?

2. Yeah! If we really wanted to show respect they'd be at full mast, and half mast the rest of the time! Sad. Such low energy.

3. Yeah, rather half-assed.

34. This is really awful, but I just thought of it and simply cannot help myself.

What is the similarity between a baby born with microcephaly caused by Zika virus and a john with a prostitute?

1. Luckily this is the (mostly) uncensored internet, where we can say whatever we want. Take that, China and North Korea! Oh, and hi over there, NSA! Enjoy all our nude selfies, 'cause there's nothing we can do to stop you!

2. PC:
Serious note here. I was 18 in the Army being trained in cryptography at Ft. Gordon, Georgia when I first learned of the ASA and the NSA. It was many years after that most of congress learned of them. Here is the irony. I was sitting in a classroom filled with teletypewriters, I think 48 of us, and we were told by our instructor to practice typing code and he left the room with the door and windows closed. It was cold that year in the South with major snow coming. Today it was November 22, 1963 and just after our lunch. As I sat roughly in the middle of the room I suddenly heard clearly above the din an audible male voice calmly say to me from what seemed like a little above my head, "The President's been shot." A voice too perfect to be real, but with no emotion. No one heard it but me because no one but me had stopped typing. You could not have heard this and kept typing. So the irony is this, I had to go on now keeping this secret from everyone including the FBI still doing my background check in order that I would be granted my Top Secret Security Clearance with everything attached. I guess I had the last laugh that time.

3. Wow, that's interesting to learn some of your background. I guess by comparison jumping out of planes is a way to wind down.

4. PC,
That is a very interesting comment and also very perceptive. I like the way you put it.

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6. Natasha,
No need for that. I have heard the same voice two more times, nine years after. Those times it simply said, "Don't go" as I was waiting for the light to change. I would have been killed both times had that not happened. I have not heard any voice since, but it taught me many things about reality. We are all watched over from some other dimension and occasionally they intervene. We call these interventions miracles, but keep in mind this is a word we created in order to try to make some sense about something most of us know nothing about. Nothing to be afraid of.

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8. Natasha,
I knew I couldn't tell anyone when it first happened or I would not get my Top Secret Security Clearance which would have made my time in the army a nightmare. I still didn't tell anyone until sometime in the mid nineteen eighties. I didn't even tell anyone in my family. The first time I did I was surprised that the main person I was telling this to, my boss at the time, suddenly got the courage to tell me his experience that he had kept secret until that moment. I feel an obligation to tell the truth about what I have learned from these experiences and not to keep them secret. I realize it will not change anyone into believing me, but I just hope it will help people keep an open mind.

9. Your conversation reminds me of the opening line of one of my favorite songs".

Are there actual voices, or are these parts of intuition, the vast majority of which we forget because they have no relevant outcomes? The realist would say SDB probably did hear a real human say JFK was shot, but in the barely audible spectrum and his all too imaginative brain (just look at all his word transpositions) took it from there. If I knew I'd have a mega church.

10. What you say above is what I expected, but I am happy to say that it has not been the case. Most people listen with what seems to be an open mind. I am so often amazed to then have people tell me about their unexplainable experience(s). When someone tries to correct me on an experience I have had I realize I am dealing with a person who cannot accept anything he cannot understand and is unwilling to keep an open mind. I back off and realize I am dealing with a fool.

11. It's important to keep an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out.

12. Jan, thanks for the Carl Sagan quote. I wish I had seen him pelted with raisins (long story).

I accept people have unusual experiences (I see UFO's quite regularly, but I'm terrible at identifying flying things) but I am hesitant to ascribe extraordinary forces. I readily accept that there are things that can't be understood, the danger is that we humans invent a solution, rather than accepting our ignorance. Inventing solutions leads to thinking the universe was made in 6 days. Nobody ever proved that Thor doesn't exist.

I hope I don't offend, but I probably did. Hard to have this conversation on a keyboard.

13. Good points, eco. I did not know that was a Carl Sagan quote, but it fits with what I know about him. He is just one of many extremely intelligent and well educated people who at times leave their intellect at the door and make rather ignorant and stupid pronouncements about things they cannot possibly know anything about. Christopher Hitchens was another who did this. I believe they do great harm when they insist they know about what they know they don't know at all. I recall reading that Freud said if he had to do it all over again he would devote his life to the understanding of the occult instead of what he did. Keeping an open mind does not in any way infer what one believes, but only to accepting that none of us knows it all, and closing off one's thinking to what may seem uncomfortable is not a path to further understanding. We usually stop learning the more we believe we know it all. I am actually a very skeptical person, but keep an open mind, and when something is actually proven to me I accept it for what it is. I don't know about the validity of UFOs or Bigfoot, but I am willing to look at the evidence of these kinds of things with an open mind, and refuse to live in fear of them by denying they could be true.

14. Said it better than I could.

15. I 90% agree, the part that's hard is to assume that because we don't understand something there must be "some thing" that causes whatever it is. Unwillingness to accept our ignorance gets us into trouble, imho. By the way, I'm no Sarah Palin that thinks we should not dedicate our energies in pursuit of understanding.

The occult can turn into another form of religion, just without the pretty buildings. And I favor the pretty buildings.

16. All religions are occult. When did you last walk on water? You can tell me, I won't tell anyone else, I promise. Any immaculate conceptions in your extended family? Forget about how many college students can be fit into a VW Beetle or phone booth; how many animals do you think you could get on an ark? Do you believe there really is a Kansas?

17. "If you wish to make an apple pie (with raisins) from scratch, you must first invent the universe."

18. I have made many apple pies (without raisins) from scratch. Does this mean I really am God?

19. Hmmm, sdb, if you do add the dried grapes, I believe you may find that to be your raisin d'être.

20. In that case you are raisin my feelings of self worth. I now have grape expectations for my future.

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22. SDB: I have indeed walked on water, many, many times, though it's been a while and I am out of practice. Send money: I will forgive all your sins and make a trip to the Sierras (or the local ice rink) and walk on water again!

I actually believe many of the Biblical stories have a measure of truth, though probably misconstrued in the intervening centuries. To Noah and the ark, of course the epic of Gilgamesh has a very similar flood story, and there's some evidence that there was an epic flood in the Black Sea as the glaciers retreated and the broken ice dam released the Mediterranean waters through what is now the Straits of Bosporus. And there probably weren't that many animal species in that little "world", so gathering 2 of each wouldn't be too hard - watch out for genetic problems down the line!

Kansas? There's no place like home, I'll let 68Charger take it from there.

WW: that little snip is a strawbale school I did around 20 years ago, the first in California (I think). Colorado was building a strawbale school around the same time, not sure who was finished first. None of the folks in the picture is me, by the way.

23. Natasha:
I will get back to you with some answers, but it will take me some time.

eco:
I don't have any trouble with the walking on water story, but the ark story is ridiculous, they didn't even have small, or in some cases large, plastic bags to put the animal feces in. I noticed you didn't mention the immaculate conception, but you didn't point out that Buddha was lotus born, so okay on that one.

24. Natasha:
I know it is next to impossible for people who have not had a similar experience to understand these kinds of experiences and I don't expect people I talk to about them to accept what I am saying outright. In fact I tell them sometimes I would not respect their intelligence if they did. I began to tell some people when I no longer was concerned what they may think of me and became more concerned that I might be of help by sharing what I know. When I began testing the waters I was very surprised at how many furtively began telling me of their experiences they had not divulged before. I have come to find there are more and more of us who are doing this these days. If it helps some people keep an open mind then it is a good thing. On the other hand, when someone such as Carl Sagan flies of the handle with stupid, glib comments like letting your brains fall out, then it stifles critical thinking and suppresses the sharing of information.

One of the common sayings all of us have heard many times is, we only live once. I always throw that one back by asking them if they have any evidence of this. I have never had anyone even attempt to offer any evidence that we only live once. There isn't any. There is an abundance of strong evidence that we live numerous lives, but many people refuse to even examine it and I have been ridiculed for even suggesting it.

More and more people are reporting having what are called near death experiences (NDE) due to better success bringing people back from cardiac arrest and other close calls. It frightens many people when they hear of these stories, and I find this very strange. I think it should make them feel better about what we call death.

There are only a very few humans who have been to the moon, but most of us believe them. Some of course insist it is a hoax, but they are a small minority. I have not been to the moon, but I have no trouble believing others have, just as I have not been to Madagascar, but have no trouble believing it exists. I would be foolish to refuse to keep an open mind when I meet people who have had NDEs, and I have met many, just because I have not had one. Perhaps the best evidence of the validity of these kinds of experiences is that they universally seem to improve the lives of those who have had them.

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26. Natasha,
I've been helping people recall some of their previous lives since 1988 by performing past life regressions. It is interesting how some people react to the idea of doing it. Some are very afraid. I have been able to confirm a few of them due to their being recent and good recall. I have not had a conscious OBE, but I would enjoy having one. I know lots of people who have though. I have had a few experiences with the other side that I have no words capable of describing them. I asked my doctor once if he had had any kind of experience with the other side, and he seemed a little surprised and maybe uncomfortable that I asked the question, but after a short pause he said that he had, but did not elaborate and I did not press for more information.

27. eco, is the strawbale school a place for faeries? It looks small, charming, and magical.

28. Interesting you note that; it is for a Waldorf School, and their philosophy generally eschews the rectangular geometry found in most wood framed buildings.

It's just a 2 room classroom, not the main building, for their woodworking and weaving classes.

29. I attended a Waldorf School back in my salad days and was glad when it was time to move on and I would be weaving classes behind.

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31. Natasha,
Yes, it is much easier to talk nonsense with people than it is to tell an unconventional truth. I don't know why, but most people seem to be afraid of the truth. I guess it is like a kid who wakes up during the night to discover he has pissed the bed and knows if he even moves slightly it will be very uncomfortable. However it will not change the reality of the situation.

Is that a pithy comment, or did I spell it incorrectly?

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34. I made the phrase, unconventional truth, up as was composing my post. Thanks.

35. What's the difference between plenism and Zsa-Zsa tidying up outside? One is where nature abhors a vacuum, and the other is where a Gabor vacuums nature.

36. Old one: What's the difference between a cat and a sentence? One has claws at the ends of its paws, the other has a pause at the end of its clause.

1. Another old one: Why do I drink so much? Because it's better to have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

2. It is actually: I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.

37. What's the difference between the beach bum abroad and the lord of the manor?

38. About 16 months ago, we on Puzzleria! ran a pictorial version of a possible answer to Will Shortz's creative challenge, titled "Comparative Panorama Slice: Two peactures not in a pod."

LegoThinksTheVersionCouldBeRephrasedInWrittenFormAs"What'sTheDifferenceBetweenATightHorseRaceAndASnapshot ofHelsinki'sSibeliusMonument?"

1. That is too bad; she had an admirable life. The fair and balanced media just got less balanced.

2. Yes, Ifill was a fair and balanced journalist as well as a decent human being.

She would perhaps have enjoyed this sweet irony.

3. 61 is way too young.

4. Every year this Roz Chast cartoon seems more relevant.

Damn it.

5. Gwen... a gem.
That's one of my favorite cartoons, eco, right up there with Gary Larson's ingenious Blah Blah Ginger.

LegoBlahBlahLegoBlahBlahBlah...

39. What's the best and the worst we can look forward to after four years of Trump?
What's the difference between Willie Wonka's admonition to Veruka Salt and the reaction of many of us to the events of November 8th?

1. What's the best and the worst we can look forward to after four years of Trump? One is the rashest fool, the other is fascist rule.
What's the difference between Willie Wonka's admonition to Veruka Salt and the reaction of many of us to the events of November 8th? One is a mild warning, the other is wild mourning.

2. Cute, but those are spoonerisms, not word transpositions.

40. What's the difference between…
A contraceptive and a common traffic infraction? One is an IUD, the other is a DUI.
A gun permit and a camouflaged Secretary of State? One is a concealed carry, the other is a Kerry concealed.
A home run and a slave owner? One rounds the bases, the other bounds the races. (Oops, spoonerism.)
The actor who played Elrond and an erratic Zastava Koral? One is Hugo Weaving, and the other is a weaving Yugo.
The top of a Word document and a live entertainment act? One is a line header, the other is a headliner.
The Gotthard base tunnel and a ride at Disneyland? One is a mountain space, the other is Space Mountain.
The first note in a music measure and a police reaction to rioters? One is a down beat, the other is a beat down.
A pocket watch and a period without war? One is a timepiece, the other is a peace time.
An auto license and a college campus? One is a learner's permit, the other permits learners.
Sinatra's Chicago and the puzzle solver's temporary residence? One is my kind of town, the other is kind of my town.
An umpire and a lothario? One tries to field the play, the other tries to play the field.
An automotive parts manufacturer and a crucial decision for a woman? One is a braker maker, the other will make or break her.
A professional athlete and music radio corruption? One plays for pay and the other pays for plays.
The flags of the United States and France? One is red, white, and blue while the other is blue, white, and red.
A busker and Trump kicking out a disruptive person at a rally? One is a one man band, the other banned one man.

1. What's the difference between a woodwind virtuoso and a student of Ibsen?

41. What's the difference between Love and Half of America?

42. Paul: One a reed player, the other's a play reader?

1. Right (except I used verbs).

2. And I kept trying to get "Norwegian Wood" to work.

3. I guess I 'had you there' HW.
Just kidding. Your insightful connection never occurred to me as I shifted from Shakespeare to Ibsen at the last moment.

43. What's the difference between democracy and feudalism?

1. This is how I coined the same joke several years ago:

What is the difference between elections in America and elections in Europe?

In America people are very concerned that their vote counts.

In Europe they don’t care if their Count votes.

44. What's the difference between inside and outside the White House kitchen, starting next January? In the kitchen, the cook is goosed. Everywhere else, our goose is cooked.

45. Here is what I woke up this morning thinking:

What is the difference between Neville Chamberlain and Barack Obama?

Answer: One was fooled by the Fuhrer and the other is furor for the fooled.

46. What is the difference between trying out an Elmo doll and what an anatomically correct Elmo doll might have?

47. "It's the economy, stupid" and "It's the stupid economy".
I got no dog in this race.

1. This isn't really a reply to Paul, it is the only way I can get a comment box to stay open.
What is the difference between a certain defunct publication and what models strive for?

48. While bike riding today I suddenly found myself thinking that Time magazine would undoubtedly feel compelled to pick Donald Trump for their Man of the Year award/cover. I don't want that, and so began thinking who else it could be this year. No living person came to mind, but then I thought it should be Adolph Hitler. It could cause some fools to begin thinking, whereas choosing Trump would do nothing but please them. Also it is so ironic that we defeated Nazism only to now see it consume our country and, of course, destroy us too in the end. As with Germany when Hitler came to power unexpectedly most of the people refused to believe things would change for the worse in a major way, boy were they in for an unpleasant surprise. It's our turn now.

1. This comment has been removed by the author.

2. "It seems to me that the nature of the ultimate revolution with which we are now faced is precisely this: That we are in process of developing a whole series of techniques which will enable the controlling oligarchy who have always existed and presumably will always exist to get people to love their servitude."

Aldous Huxley, from his speech at UC Berkley 1962

49. And now for something completely different: Sounds Like a Wind-Wind To Me.

1. How did you get wind of that?

2. It was a Gray matter. . .

50. What is the difference between Richard the III and Donald Trump?

One cried, "A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!" and the other cried, "My whores, my whores for a kingdom!"

51. I called both Senator Bennet and Representative Diana DeGette today to express outrage over Steve Bannon being in PET's cabinet. I encourage all of you to make similar calls. It was good to be heard. Phone calls instead of emails are much more effective and quite satisfying!

1. I don't know which is more distressing, the election or the comments from fools who say things like, "I'm just trying to be positive." or "I think he wants to do the right thing." or "He will do the right thing." or "I just don't want to believe he will not be a good leader." When Hitler took power most Germans said similar things and all their positive thinking did more harm than good.

52. What is the difference between a good deal and ivy?